Bored at work. Knocked this up.
Get in shape
Nasty shape. The number one indicator of age is fat. You can do yourself innumerable favours by lowering your bodyfat. Don’t just get ‘acceptable’ either. Get in great shape. Lift weights and put on muscle. You are competing with mid 20’s guys, plenty of whom go to the gym and work out. We’re lucky as men; the attractiveness of our physiques, apart from proportions, can pretty much be sculpted at will and is simply a combination of low bodyfat and musculature, unlike women where it is that exquisite blend of subcutaneous fat, muscle and glowing, smooth skin which for them, unfortunately, means the attractiveness of the female body is irreversibly linked to age. Ever noticed how those older women who hone their bodies (Demi Moore, Madonna, etc) still look like skanks? They have low bodyfat, their muscles are toned but… it just doesn’t work.
If you work out you can at 35 easily have a better body than a 20 year old guy who does not work out. Have you seen the trousers the guys in Hoxton wear? I couldn’t get my arm in them let alone my leg.
Develop your physicality. Remember when you were a chode you thought that revealing sexual intent was a terrible mistake. Wrong. Women are attracted to sexual energy just like we are. Learn to use your body. Learn to dance. Do tai chi. Whatever.
Groom
Nose hair. Bushy eyebrows. Back hair. Ear hair. All indicators of age due to hormonal shifts in the body. Get rid of it.
Style
Dress well. Really well. Read what Assanova has to say. Dress snappy and smart but cool. Think Bond on holiday rather than grunge. Buy expensive clothes or clothes that look expensive. Really work on this. Do not try and be cool. That’s a young man’s game; you’ll only end up looking like a Trendy Dad or a fool. Avoid Gap. Do not wear running shoes. Fleeces are out. North Face clothing is just for the Lake District.
Be Alpha
Charmingly hesitant, Hugh Grant-mumbling, slightly understated, appeasing, liberal, supplicating, nice guy. Fuck that. If you were a hot mid-20’s girl would you like some slightly shy, nice-guy 35 year old? You are older than her. You should be a rock. Not just to bang chicks as well… just generally. If you haven’t sorted your head out by 35 and stopped apologising for your existence then you should have.
Be young at heart
I’m younger at heart than most people I meet in their early twenties, who are horribly snobby and closed minded. Try new things. Be friends with anyone you click with. Keep an open mind. Do interesting things. Travel interesting places. Be laid back. Age is in the mind, not the body. If you develop a fresh, insightful perspective on life then this shines out and makes you ‘seem young’.
Get your shit together
You’re mid 30’s. If you haven’t got is sorted then why would you be attractive. You live in a nice apartment. You dont’ have posters on the wall, you have prints. You buy good food and can cook. Your life is organised. You are financially solvent. You have a plan. Your career is going where you want it to.
Don’t try to be hip
It’s painful. I don’t bother. Have you heard Band X? I don’t give a sh!t. You are there to be her pillar of manly strength, not to discuss the latest pop sensations. She may try finding out what things you like. Make sure they are intellectual and sophisticated and hopefully out of her price range. Movies? Japanese art house. Music? There’s a reasonable Spanish guitarist you’re listening to. Why are you even having this conversation?
Avoid her social circle (thanks Ross Jeffries)
Essential. The more you hang out with her friends the older you look. Don’t even go there. You aren’t interested. You like her because she’s fun, energetic, sweet, etc but why would you want to hang out with her friends. You have your own friends. You are not her generic boyfriend. You are the guy who is f**ing her while all her Beta trendster friends are riding their tiny, tiny bicycles round Shoreditch.
Be realistic
Only go for people two points above you at most. If you’re a six then you can pull 8’s. The bottom end of your age feasibility bracket is approximately ten years below yourself and ten years above. If you’re 35 you can, with the right chops, pull 25 year olds. If you’re 45 then go for 35 year olds. Yeah yeah we all hear about the Ross Jeffries’, the 52 year old guys pounding 21 year olds. These are the exceptions. With enough work you may be able to get it but do you need it? Wouldn’t you be happy pounding a hot 42 year old?
Avoid tens
Tens are hard work. A good number of them have based their lives around their looks and are insufferably high value actresses or models. Dont bother.
Do online dating
A lot of people in the community knock this because it invalidates the game model they’re making money teaching. The quality isn’t so good online but it’s a remarkably effective machine at providing you with a constant stream of dates to practice your skills at, and can probably provide you with a couple of non-ideal girls you can hump away at while you try get a hot one from game.
Consider obsessing less about women’s ages
Yes women look better when they’re younger but your HB9 at 40 will look better than your HB7 at 20. Stop listening to the fascism of the PUA community that the only thing which defines a womans worth is her looks and age. If they’re just generic womb-carriers with nothing to add then it probably is but there are some charming, witty girls out there and if you find one and chat for a while you won’t give a damn she’s 32 rather than 25.
Consider personality
It’s a sad fact that this is almost heresy within the PUA community. The PUA community in general rates women solely on looks yet delights in complaining of lack of personality in women. You are not under peer review here. Who are you trying to impress? What is acceptable to you in terms of looks is all that should matter. This is not a competition.
Go Asian
Asian culture is far more accepting of the young girl/old guy paradigm. And quite rightly so. Their societies have not been so infected by the feminazi agend of ours and still manage to see sense. If more women in America and Britain had just a pea-sized amount more grey matter or just one strong male friend they’d maybe be able to think beyond the end of their own nose and do basic mathematics and work out that messing men around until age 30 then panicking is really not the best life strategy. Asian culture is more marriage and family oriented. Asian girls actually want to get married. They don’t waste time so much. A 25 year old oriental girl, unless she has been ruined by over-exposure to the wester social conditioning, will not skip a beat at the thought of dating a strong, confident, charming, solvent 40 year old man.
Beware the Game
Don’t get obsessed with Game in itself. It’s a means to an end. Don’t waste time on PUA forums. They’re full of liars and losers.
1:4 Study to practice
A particular danger for the older PUA is sitting inside reading books and making notes. This is easier than running about in the cold humiliating yourself. Which is the problem. Any ‘game journey’ you are undertaking should involve four times the hours out doing it than reading about it. Apart from maybe at the beginning if your ratios are not like this then adjust them or give up.
Go Deep
If you’re 35 and have not had much success with women likelihood is there’s a very good reason for this. Assuming you do not have C-cup man tits then probably you lived a life of social conditioning and Betaness, maybe had one or two girlfriends who you deferred to, then eventually ended up getting more and more bitter. First step. Sort your inner game out. Stop hating women. Watch The Blueprint. Go on self development courses. Read books. Take up meditation. Introspect. Read The Fountainhead. Get rid of loser friends. By now you’ve probably been playing the role of “nice guy but hilariously incompetent with women” to your friends and family for years. Reinvent yourself. Get rid of friends who neg you to make themselves feel good. If you have attractive female friends you secretly like get rid of them. Cultivate new interests. Change. Do you want to be 45, single and bitter? This is your LIFE we are talking about here. This is the most important thing you’ll ever do.
Avoid bar game
Bar game is massively overrated. The older PUA should be focusing on daygame and online game.
Invest
Throw money at the problem. If you’re over 35 you should have some. If you don’t then how do you expect to support a pregnant woman. Don’t think that isn’t running through all their heads. Go on a bootcamp. Hire a personal coach. Why not? People get a personal trainer for the gym and this is way more important. I did five one-to-ones and they changed my life. If you’re ugly get plastic surgery. Buy nice clothes. Hire a personal shopper.
Prioritise
Consider taking time off work and just doing game. The aim is not to become a sad obsessive but just to build up a head of steam. Life is busy. Work tires you. Game gets easier the longer you do it. Most people drop out at the start. You need to devote a lot of time here. This will not be easy. Take a couple of months off and daygame six days a week and hit the bars a couple of times per week as well. If you are mid 30’s you have precious little time left in which pulling 20-something girls is ‘easy’. No girl in her 20’s dreams of a 40 year old boyfriend.
Get a plan. Make sure it has a beginning, middle and end.
Work out what you want.A nebulous “success with women” isn’t good enough. Which women? What type? What age? How many? When? Then what. Where does this end? At what point is the experiment over? If you’re 35 and like me then an example goal could be:
Over the next 12 months improve my skills with women to the point where I am confident and suave interacting with them. Pull five 22-28 year old, HB7> girls and MLTR them over the course of a few months. Internalize that I am attractive to women. Reduce the quantity of MLTRs and look for long-term potential. Go back to real life.
Good luck.
Bhodisatta.
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