After my ‘bad’ one-to-one last Friday I wanted to get even with my state-puppy so I contacted a wing I’d met online and asked if he was up for going out. We arranged to meet at a swanky, upmarket club, somewhere I’d never been before and was keen to scope out.
My goals for the night were as follows:
1) Enjoy the moment/Control my own state
After my state-crash from the previous one-to-one I felt that what I really wanted to work on was controlling my own state and keeping it high. I realised I’d been falling into the typical PUA trap of not enjoying the moment. We’ve all seen them. PUAs standing together, heads twitching and value scanning the room, saying zero to each other except “two set by bar…. HB9 in a mixed 4 set…. what openers are you going to run on them?”. I’ve decided that’s sad. I wanted to focus on having fun with the wing I was with, striking up a conversational dynamic and actually seeing if I could get him to have a laugh and thus joint build both our state. Yeah we can talk about game but it has to be as a natural conversation topic and we have to have fun doing it.
2) Open 3 sets
Since my previous bad attempt at winging someone I have not been out with a non-trainer as a wing. I was hoping to open 3 sets on my own.
****
We met at 9.30 near the club and went straight in. My wing was a tall, slim, extremely good looking non-caucasian guy. I’d say verging on the male-model level of good looks.. bastard! Smartly dressed and dapper. Extremely self confident and talking the talk about meeting chicks. He started by going over his “rules” for being a wing, which were essentially a) don’t’ be stingy with the drinks and b) don’t shoot off to open without giving a few minutes warning. Seemed fair enough but I did notice the strong Alpha to Beta frame of him laying out the rules.
As the night progressed I noticed some interesting things. First off my wing was extremely uncomfortable with me not wanting to drink. It was almost like unless I didn’t have alcohol with him he couldn’t get the camaraderie he needed for his own state. This harked back to the peer-pressure drinking of my student days and I felt pressured to drink. I’m sad to say I surprised myself at my own Beta-ness and caved in and drank where I normally wouldn’t have. And sure enough, it did absolutely nothing for me except burn a huge hole in my wallet and give me a headache later on. This place was expensive. Almost ten quid for a double with a mixer.
The next interesting thing is when we’re chilling in the upstairs part of the bar which is more well-lit and loungey than the club downstairs. I’m getting itchy and wanting to talk to some hot chicks, which by the way the club is RAMMED with. I mean the place is literally Fanny-central. Anyhow my wing doesn’t seem to like the idea of this and talks at length about how most PUAs make the mistake of “opening sets too early before the women are drunk” and “in the well-lit places”. He then goes off to get another drink (a bridging round, as despite his talk of not drinking much drinks twice as fast and as much as me) and I’m bored so go open a 3-set with my usual natural opener: “You guys look cool, thought I’d come say hello”. This set turn out to be just hard, hard work. There is one nice, friendly one who turns out to be married. The other two are just… well…. how can I put it… utterly fcuking boring and unresponsive. Like poker up the arse stuff. My wing reappears and I’m impressed with his wing skills as he takes care of the 2 zombies and isolates me with the target. Nice. After a while I realise she’s married and I feel pity on him for talking to the 2 zombies so I switch with him and give him some time with the fun one. After a while we split.
My wing is really amazed. I’m quite surprised to realise that to him cold-approaching sober girls, soberly, in good lighting is scary stuff. He’s really impressed. He also compliments me on my ability to ‘talk’ and says a lot of PUAs don’t have anything to say. We head off downstairs, or rather he leads us downstairs, and again I fall into the Beta frame of following him. I’m smarting from it now but what’s done is done. I think at the time I just felt……well, that he was more in his element than me, and more confident of his pulling abilities than me and I just ‘felt’ subordinate to him. In actual fact if push came to shove I think I could probably squash him like a bug without a second thought, and I think I’m the smarter one from the pair of us (sorry man if you’re reading this, just focus on the male-model looks bit). I certainly have a nerdish laser-beam focus that mere mortals can only dream of. Bearing this in mind I’m fascinated to watch me Beta-ize myself.
Anyway we’re downstairs and the night proceeds and starts to get more leary. The place fills up and the music is louder and the lights darker. Then a tall, fit Asian girl opens my wing. He talks to her at the bar for ages then leads her off somewhere, and I find out later snogs her big-time. Wow. He got opened! I lock in at a nearby pillar and try my best to look relaxed. Time passes. I realize I’m right on the edge of the dancefloor… a wall-flower! Oh no. Sad guy with a drink. However I do not let my state-puppy sulk off to his ‘depressed’ basket. I get outisde my head. I smile. I enjoy the music. I enjoy the scene. I decide I’m having fun.
While I’m chilling I notice my dream woman dancing in front of me. Chinese, slim with broad shoulders, nice height, a low cut, tight floor length dress on and I sh!t you not, what I approximate to be 32G tits. Un-fu.cking-believable. I try my best not to stare but it’s fcuking torture. These things are sticking out like pink zeppelins. They are totally incongrous. This girl is SLIM. She has a ripped stomach and toned limbs. It’s like every trace of fat on her body is in her jugs. This is a Japanese p0rn-star level body. A miracle of engineering. I see her fiddling with her purse for a second and where is she keeping it? She rams it into the side of her bra. I feel like I’m going to pass out. Then she starts doing hip-hop wiggling and these tits are all over the place. And she’s good looking as well. In my previous AFC days I’d have just stared and felt a psychotic growing resentment that such objects of lust were denied me by the sick minds of women. I’d have harbored a few fantasies of rape or murder then gone off, drank some more and gone home bitter and rambling. Nice. Now I take another peek at the twins and think: I am willing to do what it takes to get to fcuk a girl like that. And furthermore I now know that if I work hard enough and change enough… I can fcuk a girl like that.I still have that thought in my head 48 hours later. Talk about motivation. I don’t actually talk to her, though, as she’s in some girly/gay set who obviously want to do nothing more than dance. Next time.
A minute later some girl on the dancefloor catches my eye. Instantly my inner-AFC thinks I must know her or something so I smile naturally. She comes over and I realise I don’t know her. She says “Oh! you don’t look like you’re having fun!”. Sh1t! I’ve been opened. And negged! I manage a smile and say “Oh I’m just waiting for my mate, he’s at the bar”. Then she sort of smiles and goes back. Agh. I now realise I should have just put my arm round her, smiled, and spun her round and pushed her against the pillar. Or something. Just escalate the sh!t out of her.
I decide I’m not going to sit waiting for my natural wing to finish copping off and I’m in a good mood and am going to go open some sets. Awesome. I decide to get all my AA over with before I go upstairs. I decide to get it over with before I take a single step. I tell myself that once the first step is made it is on. So I spend a few minutes. I go through it all in my head. I get it out my system, then go.
I walk upstairs, look round for a second like I’m looking for someone, then immediately open a 3 set of hot girls, HB8s. They also turn out to be dream women: American, from New York, razor sharp, young, hot, fit, really good jobs. I open them with an opener I have the temerity to make up on the spot:
“Hi guys… quick girls opinion on something. Say you come to a club with a friend, it’s a friends night, you want to catch up and chat, then your mate buggers off and has close personal discussions with a friendly local… do you have a right to sulk?”
They seem to swallow the question without disgust then one of them shoots right back, staring me in the eye “no. I mean you came here to meet someone, right?”. Oh.. hello Mr sh!t Test! I haven’t seen you in a while. I acted a little surprised at this and reply along the lines of no, not really, I just come to hang out with a friend in a cool place and maybe make some new friends, like I’m doing now. The set goes well… sort of. I’m in there for a good 15 minutes at least. We have a laugh and at one point they isolate me with one of them while the other 2 go off looking for someone, but I get the feeling this is more they trust me not to do anything rather than want to give me the privacy to do so. I enjoy the set. I find I actually enjoy the mental fencing. I concentrate on my body language and my smile. Eventually we part ways. A good set.. I’ve shown great conversational skills and confidence… but no attraction building.
The rest of the night sort of follows a pattern. I try find my wing, who is with a new woman in a dark corner each time I stumble upon him, and in between this I open sets. I practice gaming men and open a guy who is part of my wings first target’s group. I lean over my shoulder and open 3 not so hot, slightly out of place girls sitting at a table. I’m deliberately doing this to practice my Mystery Method over the shoulder indirect body language. It works well and they immediately ask me to sit and join them. This is a great set and I’m in set, more or less, for about 2 hours. I’m not into the girls as they’re basically not hot and a bit tarty and common. But obviously I’d have K or F closed any of them to be honest just for the sake of it but I wasn’t going to go out my way and try for it. I concentrate on conversational dynamic and avoiding all forms of Q/A interaction. It goes well. I vibe with them and find I can be funny again. I get them laughing. I lock them in a little fake phone booth they have. I tease them. They sort of semi-adopt me and at various points I go dance with them for an hour and go up outside with them (their invite) to get some air while they have a fag. Again, a great set and displaying social skills which would blow the mind of myself last year, but not a lot of attraction built.
I run into my wing who is trailing his first girl. I can’t work out what’s going on and he whispers to me that he wants shot of her as ‘she won’t shag tonight’. Holy crap. This guy is unbelievable. Talk about high quality problems. By this point he’s copped off with FOUR women and is now looking for one that wants to rock and roll. I’m flabbergasted.
I end up talking to the Indian girl (my wing’s first close) for about ten minutes and I like her. She’s very intelligent and very classy. I amaze myself by talking in ways previously I’d never have been able to with women. I ask her about her dreams, her goals. Then I mix in one or two very, very gentle teasing negs to show I don’t value her more highly than myselg. I get her to describe happy moments to me, I hold eye contact. Then I subtly get her to qualify herself to me over and over again, while layering deep DHVs in my stories. At one point something goes ‘ping!’ and I just see the most strange look in her eye, the exquisite blend of attraction to me and remorse as she realises she’s picked the wrong one ‘cos the hot guy ditched her but she really likes me. This is priceless. I will never forget that strange little look in her eyes. I’m tempted for a second to number close her or do worse but I don’t as I just kept thinking ‘bros before hos’.
We stay till about 3 then split, my wing going home alone after all having displayed zero application of basic game knowledge and literally, I kid you not, telling his succession of women after snogging them that unless they wanted to go home shag later he was uninterested. Agh!
Conclusions
The Natural
I realise before leaving that my wing is not, in fact, a PUA at all. Sure, he’s read The Game, etc, but what he is is a natural. He uses his looks and his arrogance to get girls. This is how he does it:
- Be extremely good looking and dressed smartly
- Look for really drunk girls in dark places
- Eye-fcuk women
- Approach and immediately heavily escalate. No conversation. Just get them somewhere and go for the K-close.
That’s it. And to further refine it I’d say the guy possesses a single quality which can bring anyone success: he has unshakeable self-belief.
Watching him has been a revelation. He couldn’t have opened and hooked the sets like I did: no way, yet he copped off four times and me not once. He really does just not care. Go up to women, grab them, escalate. This will get you so far. I think if you want to go really far with this you need to go beyond this. If a PUA works hard he can always eventually end up more successful than a natural.
My Betaness
I’m sickened by my Beta-ness. I am Alpha in a lot of situations but where I do not have total confidence and reference experiences I am not. Certainly if I go out with this wing again then my frame is going to be a lot stronger. It’ll be me making the rules and me leading. Period. Regardless of who’s doing the pulling I am not Beta-izing myself again.
Male Se.xuality
This goes right back to what TonyT said to me on the RSG Bootcamp: I do not project a lot of male s.exuality. It is becoming more and more apparent. It’s getting better little by little but I really need to focus on this. The problem is that if you never get s.ex, and you never have contact with women then why would you project s.exuality? Welcome to our old friend the Negative Feedback Cycle. I’m going to fake it to make it. I’m going to watch these guys and just copy what they do. Force myself to kino. Force myself to escalate the kino beyond the point I am comfortable with. I have to do it.
As for developing my Alphaness and male s.exuality a few quick life changes I can make are
- Lower my bodyfat (dropped 2 lb last week. am eating 5 small meals a day now)
- Avoid feminizing poisons: alcohol and chocolate: both lower your tesosterone levels
- Do heavy weights and circuit training to build up my strength and masculine essence (rather than endless steady-state cardio which feminizes you. yes, it actually lowers your testosterone)
- Do dancing, lots of it, and get used to leading and touching lots of women (I’m waiting for a call about Salsa lessons)
- Boxing. If time allows. Actually fight and get hit.
- W@nk less. Feel the man-juice build up. Learn to live with a feeling of s.exual desire, rather than beating it away at the first signs of it appearing.
But.. things are getting better.. quickly. My wing did say he was ‘truly amazed’ at the difference in me since he last saw me and that I seemed like a different person. I feel like one.
Looks and Age
Looks and age seem less important than ever.Yes my wing scored big time but I just believe more and more that it’s what you project that counts. As Tyler says: ‘sometimes the hot guys pull because they are used to thinking they are attractive so that’s the reality they project’. I really believe that if I knew what I was doing I too could have pulled four women that night and taken a girl home. I was talking to a 3 set of 21 year olds and I just felt that my age was…. nothing. Irrelevant.
Venue
This place is money baby. Venue is everything. I am never wasting my time in a Leicester-square style bar like Zoo Bar again. They are full of Ess.ex-pigs and tourists in anoraks. It’s high end clubs for me from now on. The level of fanny is simply breathtaking. It’s like there are 8’s and 9’s everywhere. And because there are so many of them their value lowers and they actually start copping off with people rather than swanning around giving out fake IOIs.
Different types of game
Maybe this deserves more space but nightclub game is different from bar game. It’s higher energy and more s.exualised and I think if the venue is right and the atmospehere is one where people, lots of people, are openely copping off then your chances of doing so are way better than an average bar. I think the winning strategy is to cross-train and do them all. Day-game, bar-game and club-game.
Final words
Altogether a fantastic night. Only 24 hours after a one-to-one I have deconstructed it, learned lessons from it and applied them in the field. I have proven to myself that I have come leagues since my first one to one. I’ve done it: I’ve approached on my own with no trainers with great results (yeah no pull but you try hook for 2 hours). I’ve seen insights into the Natural’s world and I’m seeing the Matrix more clearly than ever now.
It’s close. It’s so close I can smell it.
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