The State Hare and the Vibe Tortoise

[I’m just toying with these concepts at present…. so consider this post a ‘theoretical’ piece]



There’s a trick to PUA Bootcamps. What you do is brutally force a student to approach in ultra-rapid succession, far quicker than they ever could solo. The result is they get “In State”, or I should say “Peak State”, and then miraculous things happen. They’ll strut fearless into shops and open leggy models with a cheeky grin in their eye. They’ll walk up to mother and daughters and start chatting them both up. They’ll be drunk on state. At the end of the bootcamp they’re euphoric. My God! It’s all possible… this instructor is amazing!

There’s a problem. ‘Peak State’ is a temporary condition in which by quickly exposing the hindbrain to normal fear-triggering stimuli the fear-response is switched off and a drunken elation and confidence sweeps the subject. It’s not maintainable, and it’s very hard to replicate when alone because of the core problem: you’re doing things you’re shit-scared of.

The result is a condition called State-Hunting, one of the early phases of daygame. (Which coincidentally I mention in my upcoming book which I have not really talked much about yet…)

The noob daygamer will go out and discover that the State from the bootcamp two weekends ago has long gone. Suddenly daygame feels.. horrible. How can they recapture that feeling? That’s how daygame works, right? You have to walk around, loathing it, then through gritted teeth and a wall of utter horror push and push and push yourself until…. POP! You’re in state. Then you rush round like a bee and bang off ten sets in an hour. All of which will probably flake. Even worse, because the brain rapidly conditions, State becomes ever-harder and more elusive to acquire.

I see why instructors do it. After all, to play Devil’s Advocate, most bootcamp attendees suffer from chronic avoidance and AA. They simply need a glimpse of what is possible, and pushing them into Peak State and getting them to do magic certainly gives them that.

Where next for the State Hunter? Here the real work begins. Welcome to The Grind. The long and slow process of learning to approach girls without being In State, leading to the exalted skill set of being able to daygame no matter what your state: Stateless Game.

How is this achieved? By approaching when not In Peak State. You can go head on, the hard way, or more wisely you can use a myriad of techniques to make it easier.


Vibe is the twin brother of State but is different in character and often very much confused with him. Peak State is a hindbrain condition: the temporary loss of fear and inhibition and a resulting feeling of euphoria. I would describe Vibe as a relaxation in the forebrain and the hindbrain, where your logical thoughts are positive and light and this feeling of relaxtion has permeated down to the hindbrain, not temporarily anaethatizing it like in Peak State, but just having it prowl alongside you contentedly like a purring panther.

When your vibe is good you feel good about yourself and your life. You feel good about the world, and grateful. You’ll make idle chit-chat and banter and find yourself smiling. Random strangers will glance at you in the street and smile at you. You’ll make small talk in shops and enjoy it.

Peak State is a result of hacking your brain and turning off your fear reflex. Vibe is about relaxing the brain and feeling good. How can you get a good vibe for daygame?

  • Get a good night’s sleep
  • Be happy with your life
  • Have a rich and fulfilled life
  • Daygame with a wing and have light-hearted conversations.
  • Be relentlessly positive and constantly chat to all and sundry, spreading the good vibes
  • Focus on being in the Now
  • Mentally think about what your are grateful for. Gratitude is a powerful tool.
  • Talk to girls without trying to hit on them, with just the goal of making them smile
  • Don’t be reactive.
  • Don’t do too much daygame and make sure you enjoy the daygame that you do (which you will with a vibe-based strategy)

Vibe is where it’s at, baby. Vibe trumps State for daygame success. State’s all flasy ‘n that, but I’d say State is the hare, Vibe the tortoise..

S'all good bro.
S’all good bro.

9 responses to “The State Hare and the Vibe Tortoise”

  1. Thanks Bodi, One of the most valuable posts I have read on the subject. Look forward to your book.

  2. I think that us daygamers should take a few good-quality acting classes. “Getting into state” (or, getting into character) rapidly is what’s taught. Isn’t that what “method acting” is all about?

    When we open a girl, we want to get into this character who’s always ultra charismatic and a playboy, even if we don’t really ‘feel’ that way in the moment.

    I’m going to be enrolling in an acting school next year. Hopefully it’ll improve this aspect of my game.

  3. This is a very insightful post. The other problem with State is that you usually don’t have it when you actually need it! Your see that girl who you’d really like to talk to walk by .. but oh oh you’re not yet in State so you just watch her walk by.

    Vibe is great, but of course Vibe can be damaged by something real in the environment (problems you may actually have), psychological self sabotage (problems you don’t actually have but create) or by others bad vibes permeating to you (the dreaded jealous sabotaging wing by your side who like a backstabbing colleague is actually willing you to fail .. even helping to pull you back to their level in insidious ways).

  4. I’d be interested to know why you think when you pull a girl in state the numbers usually flake ? … you said in re. State “Then you rush round like a bee and bang off ten sets in an hour. All of which will probably flake”.

    Is it something to do with the fact that while State helps you overcome any fear and anxiety it also puts you into a strange mood where you are not calibrated / vibe is actually poor which the girl picks up on?

  5. The elusive vibe…it can take years of hard work to get to that position. I don’t know about other people and how things work for them, but if you can constantly get vibe going in daygame that will permeate to other areas of your life away from daygame. And that’s a good thing.

  6. Just saying that I loved the tweet:

    “Beginner’s Daygame: stop doing daygame.
    Get some hobbies,interests,experiences,friends,social circles and character instead. Then come back.”

  7. Outstanding. This is the first time I read a proper definition and explanation of both terms.

  8. Nicely broken down. Could not agree more with this line.

    ” I would describe Vibe as a relaxation in the forebrain and the hindbrain, where your logical thoughts are positive and light and this feeling of relaxtion has permeated down to the hindbrain”

    Have experienced this myself lately as well, as much sleep, eating right, training, mediation all help greatly with vibe. I would also throw in :

    Pursuing clear and measurable goals that a line with your core values and are leading your life in the direction you wish. Where you specify what you are going to DO rather then results. This will build over time huge amounts of self-trust and then self esteem. As you slowly realize at a subconscious level that you are the master of your own world.

    Consistency and momentum is the name of the game.

  9. I kept avoiding this post for a long time. Finally got the courage to read it. Now I understand some things which had worried me for years. Concisely written rather than the word salad I got from some “instructors”. Thank you very much! Look forward to buying your book when it comes out.

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