Yet again I find myself in a situation which I hate. I get a good lead from Daygame, I work my text game, I get her out for a date and make out with her… but don’t lay her. I then take her on a second and third date and still do not fuck her. She shows some interest, but I sadly look back and in hindsight realize the frisson was stronger on the first and second date. The frame has changed. Whereas on the first and second date she was wowed by me, a little giddy and floppy, now she still shows interest but that has diminshed. She’s put me on a sort of K selection pathway.
Usually I keep trying the same shtick from the first and second date and all that happens is it makes me look needy. The frame flips then I find myself having moved from a position of power to the position of pursuer. Responses to text messages are slower and more intermittent. I’ve been put into a ‘holding pattern’ as ‘one of the guys interested in me’. I’ve been popped on the shelf like a can of beans for winter. She then prioritizes everything in her life above pistoning my dick in her vagina: friends, work, job, being tired – everything ranks higher than the can of beans.
The only way to maintain frame and control with a girl is to crank a fuck into her in the first three dates. Once you’ve fucked her then you retain the power. She knows you’ve had the notch, so she now has to work to keep you interested and not be a pump n dump. There is no middle ground. If you don’t fuck them quick: they will treat you like crap.
The problem with this girl was a couple of things. First, I was way out of practice and my calibration was off. Being an amber lights girl it’s sad to realise she was probably fuckable (in principle, however see next point) on date one. Second, she threw ridiculous stupid-bitch obstacles in my way. On the second date, the one where the sparks were flying and it seemed on, she suddenly blurted out that she’d arranged to meet her friends in twenty minutes. I tried pretty hard to get round it but she was insistent and I couldn’t sway her. That was it: moment gone.
That one was classic ‘derailment’: a girl throwing last minute crazy bullshit in your way to prevent being laid. I’m beginning to realise how strong you have to be to clear the derailment obstacle. You have to literally ignore every obstacle and wash them away like a tsunami. I should have shouted her down, I should have guilted her into ‘one final drink at my favourite bar’, I should have tricked her into a taxi and driven her to a bar far away. I should have met the friend and pressured the friend into letting me take her ‘for one final drink’.
Learning points.
Over the last year and a half I’ve consistently had very nice targets on dates, not fucked them on the first or second date then had the leads disappear. Looking back through my life I realise that every girl I have fucked could have been fucked on the very first date bar a couple of exceptions. Something has to change. I need to start doing things differently or I’ll only ever get the same results. It’s frustrating: my daygame is working ‘ok’ in terms of getting nice girls on dates; it’s my date-game that’s lacking. From now on it’s two dates or bust. I am literally going to wipe the lead away if she is unfucked by the end of date 2. With this in mind, I’m going to crash the train more on dates and act as if the girl will evaporate forever the minute she says goodbye at the end of date 2. Even more than this, I’ll only even think about a second date for certain girls. I’m going to escalate more, speed things up and watch out for derailment. When I see it: I’m going to brutally barge it aside and keep barging. If it’s date 2, I’ll go so far as to burn the lead.
As for dates: I have more changes to implement, but I’ll discuss this later.
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