Psyching myself out..

I’m off to a wedding today up in the sunny North East. It’s a youngish affair, both bride and groom around the 30’ish mark. Well, youngish for the middle classes that is. I daresay in the giant white-trash swathes of England most people will have had a wedding, three kids and divorce by then.

Already I’m thinking “How does this weekend relate to my Game”? Will I Meet Someone? Will I pull? Will I magnetically drag myself into the “he’s a bit weird” vortex? I’ve done that before. Gone to social occasions and thought ‘right.. I really need to be friendly here, talk to loads of people’ and come across with a kind of desperate, unsettling intensity. Yuk.

Is Game ruining me? Is every social interaction viewed from a Game perspective?

I think the answer for many years to come will be ‘Yes’. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Game is not just about scoring. Game is about becoming a centred and grounded person. If I’m in a social situation and ‘I’m thinking about Game’ then I think this means I’ll just have a healthy analysis of my own standing, how I’m portraying myself and how people are reacting to me. Am I reacting to them? Am I being needy? Am I being deliberately weird? (EDM). How are women reacting to me? Where is my centre?

Because of course the fact is women think about this all the time. Through learning about Game I have realised that most women have about 60% of their brains thinking about social dynamics in any given situation. Everything they do has a subtext. This chills me to the bone. There I’ve been my whole life, thinking the (now) preposterous thought that women are just like men.

It horrifies me to think of my naive eighteen year old self trundling off to University, completely brainwashed by my mother, my education and the media into thinking the lie that women are just like me. They are equals. A lamb to the slaughter. They RAN RINGS round most of the guys. Most of them..

So back to the wedding. I think a feasible goal is this: I’m going to practice being hyper-social, confident and charming. I’m going to speak to everybody at the wedding. Old, young, male, female, whatever. I’m going to circulate and circulate and speak to everyone. Bang, cold approach. Who cares? Social occasions are awesome, you have a right to be talking to people! I’m going to focus on body language and demenaour. My previous self was not totally retarded, I could actually circulate at social functions. But it would be with that awful sideways-scuttling in body language, biting the lip, mumbling apologetic blustery Hugh-grant style approach. Then a kind of positioning myself as lower value than the person I was speaking to.
Nope. Not any more. I’m going to stride. Be more alpha. Remember the three things Wisdom and Suave told me:

  1. Smile
  2. Eye contact
  3. Loud voice

I’m going to act not ingratiating but charming.

As well as doing this I’m going to focus on having an awesome time within myself. I’m going to talk about fun, cool things and roleplays. I’m going to have fun. Then I’m going to observe the effects of the two things (social proof, making yourself the party). Will any bitches gravitate to me? Don’t care. It’s not the point. I’m just going to play a little and try some Zen:

Stop wanting to pull. Be social. Be fun. Get everyone laughing and having an awesome time.

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