One to one #1: review

I went out the week before last with some guys off a forum. They were a mixed bunch. The guy who’d pulled it together, R, was  good looking Indian guy and I’m fairly certain had good inner game i.e. he probably loves himself a bit. There was also W who looked quite cool and good looking. His mate was massive. About 6’5” and not so suave. He had a sweatshirt on and had the ‘squaddie on the pull’ look about him. Nice bloke but bouncer-Kryptonite. The other guy was a French bloke who barely spoke to us, except to tell us he was an expert dancer and didn’t need to do anything else to pull women except bust some moves. And he didn’t pull that much but that was because he was really fussy. And then true to national sterotype he accepted a round-drink then fecked off for the night rather than return the favour. Putain!

Anyway the night was a bit of a blowout. Due to Mr Huge and our late start didn’t look like we could get into Tiger Tiger so we went to Zoo bar. Bit sh1t. Touristy. Not many hot women. The main problem was that we all just talked about Game and hardly anybody did any approaches. Lame. Except W who was a machine with zero AA and just approached endlessly. He does social game and talked a lot about AFCAdam and the concept of working the whole bar to gain social proof. R scoffed at this ‘talking to men’ strategy but I can see really see the sense in it. Talking to men is easy as there’s no AA and it pumps state. Also it opens up lots of groups to you and gives you social proof. If R had done more approaches I could have taken his criticism a little more seriously!

Anyway the main problem of the night for me was that I realised I am far, far from being over my AA and that going out with forum-buddies is not very productive. They’re not there to help me with my AA! They want wings not AFCs (Average Frustrated Chump) crapping their undies about approaching a single two-set. I did try some chat with one of the girls wandering round selling shots and eventually got her Facebook. Turned out it was fake (or I couldn’t find it). Whatever. Those girls are gross. I’ve seen old, worn whores who’s eyes have more life in them than those zombies.

As a consequence of this abortive evening I decided that I need to break my AA down to a manageable size. I am not yet at the stage where I can gain much from going out with ‘normal’ wings. I therefore made the decision I would invest in some more training. One-to-one training in fact. I absolutely believe that resolving this problem is one of the most important things in my life and I am delighted to realise that it will be a lot easier to solve if I throw large amounts of money at it. Money? Pah! Just sits in my bank account earning zero interest and making my life not one jot better.

I’ve allocated X amount to my great experiment. I’m not going to say how much here put in the wider scale of things it’s a pittance. Less than the price of a car. A fraction of the amount. As I’ve said before I think resolving my issues with women (and now I realise with myself) is key to me having a happy future. In this context then how much is worth paying to have a happy life? Howcome people will happily spend 9 grand on a car yet balk at spending a few hundred pounds on personal development? Madness. Well not for me. I’ve made my decision and I am 100% sure it is the right one.

First steps first I decided to do a tester one-to-one. I contacted Wisdom and Suave from RSG and they agreed to give me a deal and do a four hour one-to-one together, as they love working together. This was set for last Friday, 8 PM.

This turned out to be one of the best nights of my recent life.

I met the guys around 8. Over the night we went to two bars. Before we’d met I’d told them:

  • They were being hired as professionals. The night was about me
  • Their primary goal is to work on my AA

Suave had scouted locations and we went to the bar I’d previously been to on the Bootcamp (where I did my first approach) and one other. I had started to brick myself all afternoon and had about four ‘movements’ so was actually feeling quite light and airy, although I still had the fear. I was getting some major adrenaline. Once I met the guys I realised it was on. Holy shit, I was going to actually speak to women. Approach them. Real, flesh and blood women. By the time I got home that evening I would have done ten approaches… wow.

The guys were giving me some help and scouting out the bar. They were very professional. They were positioning themselves and RAS (Reticular Activation System) scanning the bar to look for sets. Once they found a few they started psyching me up. Throughout the night we realised I was better when I could see the set first so we often had a signal where one of us would swap places to give me a better look at the set. Everything was about building up to the approaches. We didn’t start getting distracted. In fact I’d warned them to not let me weasel out by distracting them into interesting conversation topics (I wish I had these skills with women).

Wisdom was helping me build state. We joked about and started doing big gestures. I started psyching myself up. Our conversation would have sounded insane to a fly on the wall:

Me: Yes, yes I’m looking at the set. I’m going to talk to them.

W: We’re cool guys, we’re shooting the shit

S: We think your awesome, you’re telling awesome anecdotes

W: You’re really alpha

Me: Yes. We’re having such amazing fun and creating our amazing energy

W: You are totally relaxed. You talk to people all the time. You are a very social guy

S: Yes you have lots of friends. You are full of energy

W: Those chicks are probably dying for a man like you to come say hi to them

Me: Yes, I am a social guy. I am such fun. I often just go talk to people in bars…


I have my own visualization process. Wisdom taught it to me on the RSG Bootcamp.  I find it incredibly powerful. Maybe this is the only visualization technique I will ever need. What I do is this:

I look around the bar. I notice that a lot of the heads of all the people are replaced with my own head. However it is me at all different ages upwards. Some are middle aged, some are dignified and white haired, some are wizened old men. They are me. They are all looking at me. In fact everyone in the bar has my head on. I glance up and out of the window. I imagine the people on the street have my head on as well. They are looking straight in the bar at me. They are smiing. One or two wave at me. One gives me the thumbs up. One winks and nudges in a ‘go on!’ way. It’s like an ampitheatre and they’re all looking at me. What they know is that by the time I get old and become them I will have no memory of this particular moment. Even if it goes horribly wrong, whatever, they have no memory. However, they know it is an important step on the road to make them into the men they want to be. They know I am going to do it. They are saying to me “Come on mate. Just do it. We’re right with you”. If it goes wrong it is of no consequence. If a total stranger does not react well to me it is of no consequence, it is a tiny step on the route to a  new destination. If I don’t do it then all those faces will feel let down by me, and the shame of failing them will be far, far worse than the momentary flutter of nerves I get from doing it. By this point I actually get pretty deep into the visualization and it’s almost like a hypnotic trance. Wisdom said he could actually see this mask drop down over my face and my face become set in stone, then he knows it’s on. BANG. I do it. Walk over, chin up, smile on face, eye contact, loud voice.

My goal for the night was to do ten approaches. I talked to Wisdom about my greater goals. He asked me to define my goals over six months and to make specific targets for numbers of approaches. As mentioned in my other post my goals are to do 40 approaches a month. He actually suggested I make a penalty fee and decide an amount of money that would hurt and then write a post-date cheque which gets paid to someone if I fail. This seemed quite an odd suggestion but WHAM it was like a bucket of ice water thrown on me. Had I been NLP’ed? Dunno but suddenly the nebulous became tangible. Gone was the wishy washy “I want to get good at Game blah blah” and it was:

Do 40 approaches a month until September.

And I think I WILL pay a penalty of 1,000 GBP each block that I fail although I won’t be writing post-dated cheques to RSG (sorry guys). I’ll probably give the money to charity or to a mate to spend on whores.

Back to the night. My first approach was hard. A seated three set. I mumbled an opener about “my mate is really annoying me by saying he’s hot can you tell me if he’s hot or cute?”. Two of the girls looked disdainfully at me and went back to their conversation but the fat, less attractive one gave me a nice smile and humoured me for a few minutes.

Talking to Suave and Wisdom I came up with a great opener:

“Hi there, I saw you two sitting here and thought you both looked cool and so I thought I’d say ‘hi’”. Followed quickly or interchanged with “I’ve just move down from up North and people up there are really friendly and talk to each other all the time. London doesn’t seem like that so I’d thought I’d stir things up a bit..”.

Does this even class an approach? I mean something is fecked up in the world when people (including me) think that that is a ‘great approach’. It’s real! It’s natural! It’s great. I felt totally comfortable with it. There’s no dishonesty there at all. I have total congruence with it. This was the only approach I used for the rest of the night and I really can’t see me needing much more than this any more. What I really discovered was that women can sort of sniff out bullshit and it SICKENS them. There’s something really authentic about just going up and saying ‘Hi’.

My next approach I used my  ‘opener’ and before I even got to introduce myself they were beaming and introducing themselves. They were so nice! Had a great conversation and Suave came over. I think we could have all had a great laugh if they hadn’t been in a hurry to go. Although I did notice there was some subtle woman-eye-code and indecision on their part about whether to actually go or not. They weren’t giving me a massive boner and my main aim for the night was to get approaches done so I kind of telepathed that to Suave and we let them go. Raised an interesting point though, if I’m paying to get approaches done and some woman seems to dig me then do I hook in and stay, potentially for hours, to risk being blown out and therefore have ‘wasted’ the money for the one-to-one coaching?

Anyway my trainers had spotted a 2-set. Not my footwear, I mean Wisdom and Suave. “They want to be approached man” said Suave “look, she’s playing with her hair”. True. I ran through my visualization thing, the masked dropped and I went in. Even better than the previous set. They were really friendly. A 30 something pair of mixed race sisters. The one I was talking to had a ripped bod and was OK looking. A little hint of, well, is ‘skank’ too harsh? A bit. What I mean is that women start to get the wrong side of 30 then if they aren’t really genetically superior some of them sort of start to get the crack-whore look about them. My second last girlfriend was 45 but she was fucking HOT.

We could have hooked with these ones and I was getting lean-ins and IOI’s (Indicator Of Interest) from my sista. She really wanted me to touch her, I’m sure. To be honest I think I could have pulled her, and quite possibly F-closed her that night. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to work on my approaches. I regretted it later when I got home and had to resort to Japanese p0rn and hand cream but hey them’s the breaks.

Anyway we split and went to a different bar. More manic and higher energy. Lots of people. I started to work through sets. Used the same opener each time and generally got good reactions. The worst was when I approached a table of 3 right at the back and realised they were boring, sour c+nts and one looked like a man-hating tattoed lesbian. “We’re fine. We’re fine alone” she said. I looked her straight in the eye and shamed her with my “look. I’m not some sleazeball here, I’m just chatting to people like we do up North. Have a good night mate”. And she looked very apologetic and smiled at me. “God, you made a tattooed man-hating lesbian smile? Well done.” said Wisdom.

I started to notice something. The more sets I was doing the more my state was building. My visualization mantra started to become less necessary. It started to speed up. No longer would I go so deep. I’d just look up, see one me-head looking at me. He winks and I’m off.

I learned a very valuable lesson. W from the forums knows it already. Social game is awesome. Just talk to people. You gain massive social proof. And it pumps your state. After a while I was flying. Sh1t.. I can talk to anyone! I reported I’d seen an “Asian 11” and we went onto the dancefloor in pursuit. Or rather Wisdom and Suave insisted I lead them (leader of men alpha stuff). The inconsiderate rice-guzzling ho kept moving round the dance floor like a mosquito so I never actually got close to her. Regardless, we went up on the stage and did some dancing.

I learned more interesting stuff at that point. Their were lots of AFCs dancing. You can see them with their bottles of beer, their little courage-shields grasped in their hands and waving in front of them. Their typical chump behaviour is to see a HB then dance up to her, often behind her, then jiggle about hoping desperately they will somehow get drawn in. No such pathetic moves for us. All we did was ignore every HB on the stage and concentrate on having an awesome time. We were the party. We started a stupid ‘imaginary box passing’ game. We did stupid dancing. We started getting really into it. Dancing really pumps my state. A lot. We were flying. After a while we split and headed off through the dancefloor. Wisdom whispered/shouted to me that on the stage women were gravitating to us. Tyler talks about this in Foundations and Blueprint. If you’re the AFC dancing up to a girl then she has the value, she is the attractive one. You are trying to tap into that value by dancing up to her. This is unnatractive to women. The way you succeed is by offering value. You make the party. You start having a wild time. Women will see the party and the energy and see you have value then come to you. It’s so true.

Wisdom also said that as we wove through the dancefloor I was getting IOI’s from all sorts of women, and I did notice I got bumped and ‘fallen into a lot’. Basically, women have a built in radar. Even when they’re drunk it’s operating at a thousand percent more effectively than most mens. Us being on stage we were in full view and having an amazing time. And due to Wisdom and Suave I was portrayed as the leader. Chicks had picked up on this and suddenly I was The Man in the room. Holy shit.

Walking through the dancefloor my state was ridiculous. I walked straight off the dancefloor and saw some girl in front of me I thought I’d approached already. ‘Hey!’ I said and walked straight up to her, beaming, smiling, confident. She smiled at me and I moved her across and talked to her. Then I realised two things. First, I actually HADN’T approached her before but because I thought I had I had psyched myself out! Second, she dug me and I could probably K-close her on the spot. Instead I started blabbering some routine and it felt wrong, this was just some instinctive situation. I made a split second decision. I’d probably have to either just K-close her on the spot or go dance with her a bit. Considering she was a bit fat and not that attractive really I decided I didn’t have the balls (yet) for the former and I couldn’t be arsed with the latter so I split.

I was euphoric at the end of the night. I had done twelve approaches to my goal of ten. I remember the moment as well. I’d lost count and thought I was on nine.  Wisdom asked if I wanted to do one more and I said sure and went straight into it. A pair of girls were sitting behind me on a sofa so it was easy, I just turned round and did the “three finger turn” on them. This is a great trick. It’s a way of physically turning round a girl without seeming overly physical. You just use three fingers straight out. That’s it. I then surprised myself by being Alpha and dragging over  a chair and sitting straight in front of them. It went OK and then on return I said to the guys “Great! I’ve done ten!” and they said “Nope, you lost count. That was number eleven!”. So twelve approaches done in total. Wow. More in one night than the ten years before.

I was euphoric going home. High off it. And by the way I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol the whole evening. I felt on top of the world the next day, too. I can see how guys get addicted to gaming.It’s such a thrill and a rush of validation.

I’m contacting the trainers about getting more one-to-one’s booked. I want to really build up a head of steam here and do at least another three one-to-ones. I’m so much better now than I was before the one-to-one. I’m at the sweet, sweet spot of the curve of diminishing returns where I can see massive imporvements for so little input. That will eventually flatten out but at the minute…. ride it! I can see that after another three one-to-one’s I’ll be a different man. My AA will be well on the way to being controlled.

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