I’d like to write a very brief review of this book and its relevance to the budding PUA. I bought this book because Tyler mentions it in The Blueprint Decoded. Specifically the bit I remember him mentioning goes along the lines of “picking up women is not your raison d’etre. you should be a strong man with a clear purpose, who also picks up women”. I thought this said so much it piqued my interest and led to me buying the book.
The book is around 200 pages long and is a set of numbered points on a variety of topics. This is not in any way a pickup book. This book outlines some elements of Deida’s concept of male and female spirituality and behaviour. If your are into inner game and exploring the dynamics of male to female sexuality or the nature of ‘Alphaness’ then this book has relevance to you. If you are ‘technologist’ and are looking for ‘game stuff’ then don’t bother.
Personally I found it a very worthwhile investment and some points he made really hit home with me. I really feel that my understanding of the male/female dynamic has increased a percent or so after reading this. It is is no way politically correct and would be construed by feminists as being grossly, horribly sexist e.g.
- Don’t expect your women to make decisions
- Men’s purpose is their mission. Women’s purpose is the fullest expression of love in their lives.
Which I would both agree with, although given the f*cked up state of Anglo society I’d have to replace “is” with “should be” in the above sentence. Deida really believes in masculinity and although I’ve no doubt he’s probably into some seriously tree-hugging crap but he still comes out with priceless stuff like:
“It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart. It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine”
In broad terms I’d say if you read this you will find a lot of value in some of it and disagree with plenty of it as well. Also the language he uses is pretty hardcore spiritual gobbledigook and at places and he degenerates into barely understandable descriptions of “loving through your woman into the world and dissolving into being” and the tree-huggingness does get a bit nauseating at times. However, taking this new-age speak with a pinch of salt and plowing through the thing I think is well worth the effort. Oh, and don’t read it if you’re not very bright and have a narrow mind, you won’t understand or like it.
The bit that really hit home to me is the importance of a ‘mission’ to a man. Me and my good friend T had long talked of this, and both have long said that there has to be more out there than the daily grind. T has even now given up working on a set of secret projects. I took last year off work to try and ‘do stuff’ (and fu-c.ked it up, but that’s another story). Deida continues to say that a man’s woman will try and distract him from his mission (so true) yet if the man succumbs to this he will be unhappy and his woman and family will suffer. He will feel unfulfilled because he is not working towards his higher goal and will not be able to love so freely and at some deep level his woman will resent his weakness. Unless of course his mission in life is to raise and protect a family, that is, but even then she’ll probably try to test him. The book is full of generalisms like this but for me a lot of them, like this one, really rang true and helped me crystallize theories I have long held.
Here are some key points he covers which I thought were pretty important:
- A man’s goal is his mission. A woman’s goal is the fullest expression of love in her life
- Stop seeking the destination. You’ll never be happy in that way. Seek happiness now.
- Act now. Start now. Never put off. Work on your mission every day, even just a little.
- Your goals can change. Sometimes they are like onions and when you reach one you realise it is merely a step on the way to another. (this whole blog pretty much shows this happening!)
- If you dont work on your mission you’ll never be happy and you’ll never love your woman or family properly
- Your woman will test you. She will never stop. she tests you because she loves you
- Dont expect her to make decisions
- Never just agree with her for the sake of it
- Polarity is important. masculine and feminine energy are different. If you and your partner become more alike polarity dies. Your lover is not your friend.
- Ravish your woman. Do not be afraid to love through her and into the world.
It’s only nine quid or something on Amazon. Well worth it.
ps.
Just found this. It’s a 6 minute audio-cast of Deida speaking on pickup. Deep. Very deep. Most PUA’s aint gonna like it. I think I agree with it.
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