In terms of my self development I really focused on ‘winning over the group’ and I think I did this really well, however I didn’t really focus on the target enough and didn’t build any attraction. Being still uncomfortable with the whole female/social thing I actually found it harder to talk to her because of my underlying attraction. Thus I kind of just worked on the group and ignored her. I forced myself to kino her as much as possible and after a while forced myself to try and talk to her more.
We all went for something to eat afterwards at a cool little arab-style tea house. It was nice, friendly and fun. I worked creating a group dynamic, making everyone laugh and DHV’ing a lot.
I’m not sure if all attraction is dead or not. There was a tiny bit of flirting at one point. She said she needed to stretch out and moved over off her stool onto the sofa next to me and really stuck out her feet and leaned right back, languidly, then rolled over on her side a little to talk to me. I don’t think she realised it but to me this seemed to be still a pretty big IOI. She was basically stretching out and displaying her (very svelte and toned) body in front of me. I then rubbed her (actually washboard flat) stomach and asked how many months her food baby was. One of her friends then quipped “Bhodisatta, surely you remember doing this?”, which amused me and I think possibly showed a subtext of the group approving me as a partner for her. However at the minute I think I’ve failed to stoke the ‘instant attraction’ embers I created at the first meeting and what we have is a sort of ‘logical attraction’ going on, where I have displayed suitable characteristics to the group and been given their assent, and she is aware of this, yet the raw fires of physical attraction have not been stoked. She’s probably a bit confused as her forebrain is ticking all the boxes yet her hindbrain is unimpressed!
I’ve told them to give me a bell if they want to see some London bars and clubs tonight so we’ll see if they do. It’ll be cool if they come along because I actually have one-to-one #4 tonight and would love the chance to get half the lesson with Wisdom and Suave as part of the group with these Russians. I’d be thrilled at having them as secret observers who can give me feedback about how I present myself and the stuff I’m doing wrong. I feel I am magnetically moving myself into a LJBF zone and would love to know how I can stop this.
Regardless of Russians I was talking to Wisdom last night and said that I feel ready for the teaching to move beyond approach and hooking and have the guys actually join me in set and start to give feedback on me building the interaction.
Walking home I felt pretty good. I’ve already come so far. I’ve gone out, met someone, met up with their friends, had a fun evening and entertained and been accepted by five people. I feel really privileged that I’ve even come far enough to be able to do this, because if you’d told me a year ago I’d have the social skills to do that I’d have been amazed. These are life skills which can enrich my life in any place I choose to live in the future.
PS
Facebook-closed a cute Jap hairdresser on the tube on the way home in about 3 minutes flat. My first Jap.
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