Pimp my Bhodisatta Up

Me and Suave found ourselves in a clothes shop a few weeks back and this really got me thinking about how crap my wardrobe is at the minute. Living abroad for years I didn’t have much chance to “shop” and used to just stock up on T-shirts at Gap on my trips back. Not good enough for the urban sophsticate I think.

Bored with game on Saturday I wander into Zara and start browsing. The guy on the changing room is camp and confident and I start ‘gaming’ him. Not really game but just being sociable, funny and connecting with people. A strange truth is dawning on me, that I am actually a very sociably competent person, except with females who are anywhere in my target range, whereupon I am nicely stilted.

Me: I don’t want to use this changing room

Gay: why?

Me: The lock’s broken. I’m frightened someone might peep

Gay: [squeals with laughter]

Me: Will you protect me?

Gay: [even more squeals]

At no point did he not realise I was straight, but I have had plenty of gay friends and I can vibe with them so easily, in a way that if I did this with women would result in major flange. Why can I not vibe like this with women? Maybe this is the secret. Pretend all attractive women are gay men?

End result of my vibing was that I was in Zara for two hours and this guy, the manager, essentially gave me a personal shopper session. I was sitting like a lord in the changing room and he was off rushing round the shop getting “ideas” for me to try on. It was great and I had such fun.

The end result felt incongruous, but this is good, because at every major fashion shift a person makes the new clothes intially feel very strange. It takes a few weeks before you realise their awesomness.

So, gentlemen, I present the pimping up of Bhodisatta.

Old Me

a northerner dressed for deepest winter
comfy. lovely and comfy.


Minimum level of smartness. Shoes pretty shabby. Jeans not very smart. No big effort made. Not terrible though.

New Me

Eat my gun, Mendoza.



3 responses to “Pimp my Bhodisatta Up”

  1. Like the new shoes, but I’d want to wear something other than jeans with them.

  2. The burning question is: did you get a day 2 with the manager?

    1. you mean a gay 2?

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