Reclaiming this blog

For a long time I have had absolutely zero urge to blog. Why is this? I used to enjoy it and found it helpful. Now it seems like an unpleasant task which I keep shirking.

I don’t like what I’ve slipped into with this blog. It was always a virtually hidden, underground blog which had one thing: it was an utterly truthful account of someone struggling with game and the red pill. I’m not saying I haven’t been truthful of course, but what I mean is I think I’ve gradually started writing for an audience, rather than writing for myself. It used to feel like therapy, sorting out my thoughts and pushing that button to pump them out there – much better than just writing a journal. Now it just seems like a chore, and irrelevant to my life.


I changed the theme. I made a silly background for a while. I got a dot com URL. I wrote some posts which were great, and people thought my writing was funny, but it was seductive. Then I wrote the book. I don’t suppose the Twitter feed helps.

I’m not a “PUA name”, even thought I know quite a few of them. I don’t ever want to be, yet I was kind of getting a little bit ‘known’. (I don’t regret the podcasts, however, they were great fun and I will do more). I hate the PUA circus.

This post is ten times easier to write than anything I’ve written in six months. This is because it’s old Bodi. It’s just ME and my thoughts. I miss my old blog. I still have a lot of thinking and development to do. I might move back there if I can remember the log-in.

I suppose the other tiring thing is the haters. Eventually they found me and started spouting their weird, warped crap, usually along the lines of finding a blog about someone openly struggling with their weaknesses and then criticizing me for them or my lack of success (as these fantasist bedroom virgins define it).

Please stop reading my blog. I want a couple dozen readers: that’s enough. I half wish I’d never written that book but it’s done and sometimes it buys me a coffee or two so I’ll leave it, and being a completist I’ll release the second one too or I’ll die of convulsions.

Maybe I’m just tired of writing about game and red pill. After all, it’s been a long time – over five years. Christ. This has been a lot harder and more awful than I ever anticipated. Surprisingly, I’m not tired of still pursuing my goals, as in real life I’m still out there putting one foot in front of the other, like the guy who got dropped down the crevasse and broke his legs and had to crawl miles back to camp (Touching the Void). I wonder if I’ll reach the point where I just no longer care, after all they say it’s easier to bear injuries than avenge them.

I have a reasonable chance of fucking a catwalk model soon, so I won’t call it quits quite yet.

12 responses to “Reclaiming this blog”

  1. You don’t owe anybody anything. I hope you post some more stuff. Your post about going back to your Gamma laden job was a wake up moment for me (ecology/environment sector – it’s full of the fuckers). Look after yourself and all the best.

  2. My thoughts exactly. I pretty much stopped writing because aggregators and blogs were starting to link to me… I was getting more popular. I don’t wanna say it scared me, but it definitely weirded me out. I think thats a major difference between someone who wants to do it for money, and traditional bloggers.

  3. I enjoy the blog, looking forward to a Mexico update.

  4. I certainly have enjoyed your blog. Always going to attract haters as many guys have their egos invested in women and so cant bear to see someone else having any success. Just ignore / block them.

  5. As a fellow north easterner, lived in London, turned red pill-er, I enjoy your reading your posts, Bodi, and have unashamedly dug into your archives on both your old and new blogs to read your journey.

    Even if the tone and topics of your blog change to reflect your current thinking I and others will still interested to read it.

  6. Your blog (this one and previous) have been really helpful to me and i’m sure others. It’s the most authentic and honest account of a self development journey that I have encountered. I hope you continue to write and publish more posts.

    Your work is probably appreciated be a silent following that you are unaware of.

  7. Keep blogging Bodi, your writing is excellent, interesting and funny. Don’t worry about the trolls.

  8. Good to have you back Bodi.

    I took my blog offline for similar reasons. I felt that gradual urge that I was writing for an audience also and it became a chore. On top of that some haters started to come through also. Frankly it was turning out very differently from what I had intended and I just couldn’t be arsed any more.

    I just write my own private diary now which works much better for me.

    Maybe I’ll fire up the old IrishDoesAsia at some point in the future when I hit the road again. But for sure it’ll take a different form and direction…

  9. Someone should start an Internet service where hate comments are filtered out so that you don’t even have to review them before rejecting them. A spam filter for hater comments.

    Also really appreciate the time and effort that you put into ghee blog posts.

  10. Your book is fucking awesome.

  11. Danijel Kosice Avatar
    Danijel Kosice

    You can set WordPress to suppress Google spiders. If you do that people will mainly only find you by positive word of mouth.

  12. “I suppose the other tiring thing is the haters. Eventually they found me and started spouting their weird, warped crap, usually along the lines of finding a blog about someone openly struggling with their weaknesses and then criticizing me for them or my lack of success (as these fantasist bedroom virgins define it).”

    I think part of the problem is that on a forum/blog where the poster is revealing challenges and problems, that gives the haters some toeholds to make insulting assumptions about that tie into the poster’s negative self image.

    So a game of haters trying to abuse the poster to get him to respond or modify his behavior ensues. Some of them will probably be encouraged by this post. They’ve curtailed your freedom to talk about something freely that you would like to talk about.

    I suggested it ages ago, I think on your old blog, but how about giving one of your real life friends with a blog user access to this blog, and ask them to review the comments for you as them come in? You could do the same for his blog? I imagine someone like Jimmy Jambone would find it funny when haters try to insult your ‘lack of success’ or ‘weight’ or whatever else they guess you might feel bad about.

    I’d also guess that the hate isn’t actually hitting targets that well, it is probably just the volume and constant flow of it.

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