A Wolf in Rabbit’s Clothing

It’s Monday morning at Ace Recruitment agency. Gavin picks up the phone, stares into the receiver and shudders. Beside him, Kenny reclines back in his seat talking loudly and confidently into his bluetooth headset. “Oh yeah, yeah, yeah… sure, sure, sure… fo’ sure, fo’ sure” he smirks at Gavin and gives him the thumbs-up. Gavin blanches, grits his teeth and speed dials his client contact again. He can’t believe he was once naive enough to think recruiters helped connect people together. It’s sales. Pure, cold sales.

“Oh Hi Bob!” he says, voice rising desperately as he tries to sound cheerful and natural, even though it’s his thirtieth call that morning. Mid-way through his lies about getting a fantastic new CV in from a really talented Malaysian engineer his voice falters slightly. Bob senses the incongruence; the call is over. “You need to hit the phones harder, mate” grins Kenny, drumming on his desk with his forefingers.

Switch to a street in Warsaw, Poland. A daygamer is trudging round the city. This is supposed to be fun he thinks, so why does it feel so AWFUL? It’s his fifteenth set of the day. He jogs up to a girl, sighing. “Excuse me, I just noticed…” she cuts round him and walks off. How the hell do these guys do it? he wonders. Last month his wing got a fabled Same Day Lay with a Kiwi backpacker plus closed a ‘long-lead’.

I am that daygamer, and I have a terminal case of daygame revulsion. The thought of going out and doing more daygame in the style to which I have been accustomed sickens me. It’s over. Finito. That type of game is dead to me. The displeasure it causes is far, far greater than the very mild displeasure of not having new, low quality women to sleep with.

I discussed the issue with Gavin and we saw immediate parallels with daygame.

“There’s a guy on my team, he has no brain, never had a thought in his life. Can’t even hold a basic conversation. But he bills well because he does 50 calls a day and sends out 10 CV’s a day – far more than I can tolerate without having a nervous breakdown and feeling mind-raped. He has the same failure rate as everyone else (90%) but he has such low self awareness the failure rate and cheating of others doesn’t get him down. So he makes money off the times he is lucky which is more than me”.

This sounds strangely familiar and I don’t think it’s merely a Gamma reframe of oneself as ‘special’. It’s more than this. Many a time I’ve done daygame with a wing and been horribly surprised to see that opening has no emotional cost for them. They’re the same on that set as their third and how they manage to do this is alien to me. Gavin continues:

“Me, on the other hand, I can’t do it. I get depressed and worn out. I only do well when I have a quality high level role where I have exclusivity and commitment. Now, the other guy can’t do these roles because he can’t build the relationships with the clients and candidates and doesn’t have the patience to go through the longer and more detailed recruitment process”.                      

Curious and curiouser. When I look at my daygame history, I’ve had comparatively few lays, but all with girls where we both wanted to date each other, and where there was an affectionate connection. The internal and external beauty of these girls was very high.. “My approach is more headhunter type” added Gavin to the above.

There’s a clear similarity there. You can spam low volume ‘approaches’, whether they are cold-calls in an office or “You look interesting’s” on the street. Some people can cope with doing this, others cannot. Some people prefer to get one high-quality lead, or a few, and work on them slowly, demonstrating particular value relative to that situation. Others throw lots of shit and see what sticks.

The similarities between R and K selection are obvious. I don’t want to labour an explanation of it, check it here on Wikipedia, but very roughly you can think of R as a ‘reproductive strategy’ – a response to predation and abundant resources. A good example is rabbits (or welfare breeders) which pump out low-investment offspring, which repeat the trick at an early age. K can be thought of as a ‘competitive strategy’, an example being wolves (or the upper middle-class) which have a competitive, resource-sparse life so raise very few, high-quality offspring.

R/K evangelists are convinced that these two rough strategies, or rather the spectrum, influences everything in the world. Reading Anonymous Conservative’s book on the evolutionary underpinnings of modern politics it’s hard to argue otherwise.

Daygame appeals especially to R-strategists. To an R-strategist, discovering a pussy-machine at which you simply crank the handle to produce an endless stream of low-quality but acceptable pussy is all they need from life in one handy capsule. They take to it like ducks to water because like Kenny they suffer no emotional cost from doing it. Spam-approaching a thousand women and getting a couple of bangs with slutty 7’s for them is a great thing. For the K-strategist, it’s a horror. The K-strategist focuses on low volume, high quality, usually on everything in their lives. K–s are more likely to be vindictively precise engineers than they are salesman, and if they are salesman they’ll be headhunters. A K-strategist daygamer, if he follows the current popular daygame model, known as the LDM (London Daygame Model) has to shoe-horn himself into the clothes of a R-strategist*.
[*Given my previous obesity problems and wardrobe update I had to do this not only figuratively but literally.]

A K-strategist has a limited number of sets he can do before suffering irreparable daygame meltdown. At the start he can reframe everything as ‘learning the system’, something K-strategists love. This can carry him a long time, maybe to a thousand sets. He’ll be improving, and mastering his skills, so won’t have much cognitive dissonance. After this point though, he’ll reach his potential and plateau. On the way he will have a few R-style dalliances with the types of girl he’s never had before. K– males usually have never fucked R-strategist women, even once in their lives, bar some fumblings care of blind luck at college perhaps. Their first gropings with one of those women, the ones with the sultry, slutty eyes, juicy bodies, cropped vests and bad-girl attitude; well, to a man who’s had the pretty and ever-so-nice girls till now, it’s intoxicating.

Eventually he’ll crumble. A K-strategist is not built for low quality spamming. He’s literally not built for it, on a genetic level. Constant soul-less repetition and insincerity will eat away at his very core, lowering his self-esteem and causing anxiety. Endless exposure to low-probability odds and enormous amounts of time-wasting is an anathema to him. K-selects, in all areas of their life, are repulsed by wasted effort. Gavin adds:

“Myself I am unsuited to r style recruitment cos I get depressed due to the massive wasted effort”

Our K-selected gamer now has a problem, especially because he’s fallen for the pickup propaganda. The likelihood is that he’s purchased a few pickup ‘how to’ products and garnered his ‘system’ from them. Additionally, he’ll almost certainly have winged with various sordid characters, most of them probably R-strategists. The techniques in his toolkit will be geared towards this. He’ll believe that the remedy for poor vibe is ‘do more sets’. The remedy for poor results will be surprise surprise: ‘more sets’ or alternatively something which boils down to ‘lie better’. Perhaps to ‘bang more girls’ he’ll learn to mimic the behaviour of R-selected spivs. Fighting his natural instinct to get to know girls and win them over with character, he’ll learn how to call them squirrels, ignore their text messages and neg them. His new pickupy behaviour will define his results; he’ll get less interest from K-select girls but more interest from slutty girls. The more he does pickup the more his natural intent will wear off and be replaced by inauthenticity. He’ll fail to get the occasional good girl that he used to (and then discarded on his quest), and will probably get the lower quality of the sexier girl because he can only ever be at best a half-baked cad. He’ll be stuck in the R to K wilderness and like Gavin, the one recruiter with the pure soul, his “O.T.E earnings of £100k!” will somehow never materialise.

There’s good news and bad news for naturally K-selected wannabee spivs. The bad news first: you probably aren’t ever going to be a lady-killer, it’s not in your nature. Get a few lol stories, carefree dalliances, then get out. Anything further will result in gradual breakdown and either withdrawing from game completely or worse, falling down the rabbit hole and becoming a full blown Pickup Weirdo. The good news? He can potentially acquire a partner of a far greater quality than any R-selected spiv has any hope of getting.

If our wolf just wants to ‘finally, actually, just bang some women’ then the pickup circus is the way to go! The problem is it’s not sustainable. Like the scorpion and the frog, he won’t be able to fight his nature for long. A friend of mine got sacked twice in a row from two summer jobs. The first was in a lemon-meringue pie factory. As the pies trundled past on their conveyor belt he “took far too long” dusting them with icing sugar. “I am literally unable to take any less care!” he wept to the foreman as he was sacked. His second job was in a light engineering factory where he was “too fussy” at deburring gaskets and only produced half the required quantity of them, but to a standard the foreman described as “simply beautiful” … before firing him.

Pickup material is predominantly R-selected. This is for three reasons. Firstly, the sellers are themselves usually R-selected men, broken in some way or another. Usually, they have deep issues with connecting with women, and some are neurologically incapable of doing so, being pathological narcissists or sociopaths. With their disability, they’ve never experienced it so cannot understand what all the fuss is about; like a colour-blind person failing to be moved by an impressionist painting. To them, women are nothing but fungible things, sources of sex and gratification, measurable by nothing except age, looks, or some other measure. It’s not her personality or how she makes the PUA feel, it’s a measure of how much other men would desire her, thus revealing the root of all the fuss: ego and insecurity.


Broken people, especially narcissists, like nothing better than to project*. Everyone loves pushing their frame. It’s not a hard sell, because in our second reason we can see that the majority of buyers of the material are R-selected, too. I’d have to say that after five years in pickup there’s a high percentage of low value and disconnected men. They can barely find common ground with their ‘wings’ let alone with women.
[*Don’t get all Inception on me now.]

The last reason that PUA material is R selected is because K selection doesn’t sell well. People get rich selling protein powder, not telling people they don’t need protein powder, just hard work, to get huge. It’s hard to write a ‘system’ to encourage men to just get one high quality girl. You don’t need a system. It’s easier to write a system to promise a pussy machine. Secret short cuts sell well. Yet again there’s a parallel to this in the (even more sordid than pickup) world of recruitment. In the larger firms if you try and work in a more K-select style, garnering a few select clients and taking your time with them, then there’s a raft of middle-tier managers that are constantly on your back. They define their own worth by implementing systems of KPI’s (Key Performance Indicators) such as numbers of cold calls made per day or number of CV’s sent out per day, then spending their time forcing others to adhere to them. The PUA equivalent is the approach count and the notch count.


I am reminded of the story of the Indian watch sellers that Gavin told me. As he went to work each day (he works in Asia) he’d see them sit on their rugs on the pavement with their watches laid out before them. They compete on two things: first, price. This could be regarded as the size of the holes in their net. Second, the time which they remain on the pavement. This could be regarded as the size of the net. More and more Indians decided to sell watches, so they’d come, get a blanket and do exactly the same. They’d each compete with each other by spending more and more time on the pavement, or accepting an even lower price offer than their competitors. There you have the analogy with the state of modern euro-daygamers; R-select men creating as efficient a net as possible. Hours spent on the street and approaches done defines the size, and relative quality of the girl that he will accept defines the holes in the net. As more and more men start doing daygame the overall quality declines yet further for everyone. Europe is now riddled with these figurative Indian watch sellers, driving the price down for everyone.

Gavin got friendly with one of the sellers called Muthu. He was surprised when Muthu was packing up to leave at 6 p.m. one evening. He was further surprised when Muthu told him he was off to his evening class in website design. The other sellers laughed and chortled, rolling their eyes. Silly Muthu was losing sales!

As the months went by occasionally Gavin would say hello to Muthu, or perhaps get his watch battery changed. A year later Muthu handed Gavin a little card: he’d started his own Alibaba online shop and a website. A year after that Muthu wasn’t on the pavement anymore. He eventually wrangled the truth out of another seller. Muthu had “got too big for his boots”. Apparently he “was above” selling on the street now. In fact, he didn’t need to. Eventually his little website and Alibaba account sold more than he could in hours sitting on the pavement, so he didn’t bother anymore, he sat at home on the balcony of his new apartment, playing with his son and occasionally checking his email.

The chaps still on their rug hadn’t really failed, they were just different. You get the best results by following your nature. They couldn’t have done what Muthu did as much as he could endlessly tolerate what they did. They wouldn’t have had the patience or the skill. For the rug-rats, making a website was too much hard work but sitting on a rug for 18 hours a day, every day, was not.

Has anyone in pickup, especially daygame, ever said that a solution to not getting quality girls is to do less sets? If not, then I’m nailing my thesis to the door of the church right here and now. If you want a higher quality girl, stop being a pussy rat and do less sets.


If, like me, you realize that you are a K-select, and not cut out for the rat-race, then stop scurrying in the gutter. Get a few stories to get it out your system and then concentrate on what your nature wants you to do: pursue fewer girls (probably one) of far higher quality. By ‘higher quality’, I really men ‘higher quality considering your nature’. You aren’t cut out to date the sultry eyed tempestuous ones, your lot is with the less sexy, but perhaps more classic lasses. They won’t be asking you to bugger them in the KFC toilets but they’re more likely to enjoy reading that evolutionary science book you lend them. Do that to an R select girl and it’s game over. It might take you ten dates to sleep with them, but at least you can rest assured it would take anybody else ten dates as well. Without being specific about what quality is it’s too easy to fall into the old Gamma trap of simply reframing the girls that don’t want you as ‘poor quality’.

I am here to tell you that the true depravity of pickup is the notch-count, a fiat currency pushed by broken socialists (ego-driven R-select PUA’s) which has somehow become the de-facto rate of exchange amongst the pickupsphere. Notch-counts are an utter farce, and a good example of price-fixing. When you set the price, or a fixed quantity for a certain price (of a commodity), then the quality drops.

Combat this. Abandon this worthless paper and revert to the gold standard: quality – both of looks and character. If you’re a quality man, a K-select, you will feel a soothing blissful calm the moment you romance and acquire a girl that you genuinely regard as ‘dateable’, and you will look back on your pickup career with fond puzzlement or disgust. You’ll have become a headhunter, one of the top-level recruiters who work on bespoke projects and consider it beneath them to not be paid upfront or work on more than one job a month.

Krauser recently wrote about the R and K spectrum he’d observed in girls whilst daygaming, and particularly how the Same Day Lay girls fitted the R model, which shouldn’t be surprising by now. I would go further than this and say that most girls picked up by most men from daygame are R-selects. I don’t care if they seem to be “bookish introvert virgins” but if you chat them up from the street and a week later they’re letting you bugger them in your bedsit, they are R-select girls. Any gamer who is banging more than half a dozen girls a year is R selected and is banging R selected girls. The old pickup paradigm of Alpha and Beta is dead. If you’re banging a lot girls you’re a rat. If you’re married with two kids you’re a wolf. There is no such thing as a K-select gamer that bangs a lot of girls, it is by its very definition impossible. You may be clever. You may be erudite. You may have good future projection, planning and all the wolfish traits. However, if you run about opening girls and banging low 7’s, you’re a rat.

The problem with daygame for K-selects is that as it stands, in terms of girlfriends, you almost don’t want a girlfriend that you can get by daygame. Perhaps I should amend this to “get easily”. If you have a five minute chat with a girl on the street then have sex with her a few dates later then is this really the type of girl you want to date? How high is her notch count? What does this say about her as a long term investment?

I have never seen any K-selected 8’s or above having fast sex or even adventure sex. They seem to live almost completely monogamous lives. You need long-game, patience and value to get them. Before I cause mass hysteria, let me remind you that this issue is not black and white – Anonymous Conservative himself says R and K is merely a model with which to view behaviours. There are exceptions to almost everything and nothing in human behaviour is black and white.

I am under no circumstances blowing the “there is no game” or “I’m beyond game” trumpet. I’m not suggesting any wolves-in-denial quit game and get on Guardian Soulmates, far from it. I’m suggesting they re-assess and tweak their game, but they will certainly still need it, just not so much of the tricks required to posture as the specific type of man that broken women feel compelled to fuck.

If you are looking for a quality girl please don’t think you can just “go natural”. You are going to be more authentic but you are never going to forget core game principles. You’ll be very aware of not letting neediness creep in. You’ll not get too excited and carried away, making her worried that you’re clingy. As she tests you, which even the nicest of girls will, you’ll remember your early chode days as an emotional tampon for your best ‘female friend’ (that you secretly adored) and remember you’re not her gay best friend. You’ll hold your frame, and you’ll expertly deal with any little forays into manipulation she considers. You’ll be running the type of game Athol Kay described in ‘Married Man Game’. You like her, you’re dating her, but you still need to keep an ounce of swagger on. I’m reminded of my own father, who, riddled with Alzheimer’s was bed ridden and being tended by his partner. “I love you” she said, gazing at him, eyes burning with psychotic neediness.

“I..” he mumbled.

“… love …” his voice whispered, and she leaned close to hear him say it.

“… me …”

“… too …” he finished. Superlative game, right till the end, like Han Solo being dipped in carbonite.

Now we’re back to me. This all explains my current situation. I’m sick and tired of trying to bodge myself, a square peg, into a round hole. Sleaze pickup is done and dusted. I am now adapting my game to the pursuit of a high-quality girlfriend. I usher in the era or K-select daygame! The model needs to change and the mindset needs to change. This is something I will explore and discuss further in next month’s post.

Welcome to the land of the wolves. There’ll be times of famine, and times of competition, but a whole lot of satisfaction.


ps. A lot of the material in this post came from discussion with Jimmy, and to be honest he’s been saying it for years. If he was less repulsive (< 6/10) I might have listened.

71 responses to “A Wolf in Rabbit’s Clothing”

  1. I wish you the very best of luck.

  2. Leicester Square lothario Avatar
    Leicester Square lothario

    An honest post. I’m expecting a ban but so be it.
    What did you honestly expect bodi? A guy who by all accounts is average in every way (in his 40’s) with some anxiety/depression issues discovers “game” and then magically the hottest, sweetest most high value girls are irresistibly drawn to you for either sex or a relationship?
    Life doesn’t work in such ways.

    The fact that you’ve come to this decision now is positive. You’ve realised that a. daygame is not enjoyable in the slightest and b. with all due respect the hard work you’ve put in isn’t materialising with the kind of girls you were promised. It’s miserable and depressing. I recommend finding some non-game friends and as you said being a slow burner with girls ie actually getting to know them first and finding out what a cool, successful guy you are (hopefully you are but this is the Internet so fuck knows).

    Think getting the kind of girl you described is very very tricky though. Those kind of girls (very beautiful with a ‘pure’ essence to them) are the toughest to get . I’m not sure a guy surrounded by game can do it.
    Good luck
    Ps if you could go back and do it all again would you go down the traditional route?

    1. I don’t think you’re trolling, but I think you’ve missed the point a bit. I have had success with daygame, and got some fantastic girls, it’s just the returns are diminishing mainly I think because of the R/K cognitive dissonance (plus things like over-gaming). I’m not really Mr Average either, tbh, as testified by the girls I’ve got so far, plus what people say about me.
      I doubt I can consistently bang hot girls from daygame, but I don’t doubt that I can get a really cracking girl to date. This is almost the inverse of most R daygamers. I have no problems at all with beautiful, intelligent, quality girls. In fact, the smarter and more classy they are the less work I have to do at all. Maybe you were thinking I wanted 20yo virgin high-8 cover girls or something. Yeah… that would be tricky, and banal.
      I’m not sure what I’d change. I’m not in an awful place. I know that in 1-6 months work living somewhere with good life/demographics I can get myself a nice 25-30yo girl to date. Brill!

  3. Leicester Square lothario Avatar
    Leicester Square lothario

    Plus I believe any guys giving up their life and concentrating solely on game (that includes name pua’s) are making a really bad choice. Shockingly bad.

  4. The only question is this:

    If you’re going to continue doing daygame to meet the potential girlfriend…Then you will need to approach her.

    Short of forcing and approaching off IOI’s, there is not much chance you’ll get much of a read if she’ll be receptive to your advances.

    Unless you plan to radically overhaul what you are actually doing when you approach, then how are you going to meet this girl with fewer approaches – since presumably you were giving each approach your best shot before?

    Here’s what I am finding – I cannot say how closely my goals align with yours because I honestly don’t know what they are now (money still priority) – but it’s safe to assume we both love women and female company, right? If you were able to meet and date 10 new women a month, you would (I don’t buy that they are all low quality, that just isn’t true). I think that’s a rationalisation.

    It sounds to me like jumping from place to place isn’t working for you. Perhaps you have to pick the place that’s right for you (I know you and Jimmy are working on it). EG Belgrade just isn’t my place, I just don’t like it. Warsaw is better but again, the city just ends up dragging my mood and fucking my motivation to approach – I guess you are the same? I know it makes a massive difference to me.

    I guess what I am asking is : how are you going to make fewer approaches work? What will be different?

    I think this relates to a larger point about the so called spam approachers – if they could make it work with less approaches, they would. No fucker wants to do 50-200 approaches to get 1 girl. No one.

    Genuinely curious as to what you will do. I think that knowing you the biggest thing will be the right location and having mates around. (And it would have made me far happier for the last few years too! I am no different). It hasn’t been a bed of roses for me either.

    NB I write this not knowing where you are breaking down. Getting numbers? Replies? Going on dates? Going on dates but not fucking?

    All depends also where you are breaking down.

    1. Hi Steve. Thanks for your comments. First, yes, living somewhere I can settle is paramount, and it has to have good demographics/genes.

      I will still do some daygame, and I plan to write some follow up posts about this. But basically, when I gamed recently I’d do usually 3 approaches a session, but very natural and with girls I really could see myself dating. It wasn’t scripted. You could say it was… authentic. I found this to be easy. It didn’t drain me whatsoever and I got virtually no push-back from the girls. Also, the rabbit/tortoise effect happened. Even though I was doing so few approaches, because I didn’t get any burn out and have to take a ‘week off’ to not feel so grubby and depleted after a massive spamming R-daygame binge, by the end of the trip my total sets was almost exactly the same!

      When I slashed my approaches so low, and had a good vibe, my results vastly improved.
      What do you mean “no fucker wants to do 50-200 approaches to get 1 girl”? Of course they do. 50 is great! That’s just you projecting.

      I think I’ll probably end up meeting girls through social circle, work, or ‘drive by’ daygame, like in cafes or shops. If that fails I’d be expecting to be dating a potential gf in about 50 sets.

    2. Cold approach pickup by nature though relies on playing a high numbers game as the rate of success (lay) per approach is very low (even for the top name guys). Therefore most of the guys in daygame are spamming to different extents. Its similar to doorstep direct marketing. A lot of the real hardcore spammers in PUA Triangle in London are I suspect doing it though out of a frenzied desperation rather than any conscious tactical decision as they just aren’t able to get girls to stop / hook at all (they are operating out of their ping range.

      In regard to Bodi’s quest to find a quality girl though, how many cold daygame approaches would it take to find a girl as a High quality GF if the top name coaches need to 50 approaches minimum to find a half decent looking slut for a one time lay? 200? 500? never? (as perhaps we are trying to put a square peg in a round hole)


      1. Zatara, this is the glorious point I was trying to make. It potentially takes LESS sets to find a nice girl to date than it does to find a 6 to rut once. It may take you 5x longer to do them, though. If you do discrete, authentic and smooth daygame in very small doses over time, with very carefully selected girls, then I can’t imagine it would take more than 100 sets to be dating a girl.

        1. Id be interested to see the process you use to do this perhaps in a future post.

          Perhaps you could if it’s warm repeat approach daygame (zatata patent; WRAD). The chances of her not dropping off go up dramatically going about it this way. However 100 girls over say 5 interactions for each one becomes 500 ‘sets’. It’s a more drawn out process. However on positive it may not be so tedious as cold approach (where its difficult to talk v deeply with a person as they are totally new to you).

          1. I think Zatata has hit on a point that was made a lot back in the day, but has since been forgotten. Repeat viewings make everything easier.

            SteveJabba is right in that anywhere with your mates around is better.

            The problem is that they guys who I have seen get good set ups with the above elements really have gone far above and beyond the efforts of the average bloke. But Bhodi just might be unreasonable enough (and horny enough) to get this achievement.

            It’s probably just a pipe dream for most of us though.

  5. Ulisses needed 20 years far from the shores of Itaca just to know who he was

    You don’t regard your journey as a waste of time , do you?

    1. Not at all.

    2. This is a fascinating article Bodi. Its good to have someone who thinks for themselves outside the PUA / Daygame echo chamber. I like the way you are looking at the bigger picture.

      You’ve picked up on several issues with daygame 1) Its draining for most guys (& def. k selected ones) [& has a knock on cost to the rest of your ‘normal’ life] 2) It seems to filter a certain type of girl [what you call R selected girls].

      I’d begun to realise that I’m not able to have success with a certain type of girl through a one-off daygame cold approach [which if you think about it is a very specific unique type of interaction in the regular world] … those girls have most or all of the following
      1) toward the top end of looks in girls (so Id say an 7.5/8+ girl)
      2) fairly successful or at least comfortable in her sphere of life (job, business, study)
      3) has a good circle of friends and family
      4) has hobbies & a enjoys her free time
      5) emotionally stable and well balanced
      6) is fairly picky about her sexual partners (i.e. not a slut).

      Now I can generate interest in these girls in a cold approach (although cant tell for certain after a short time), but I’ve never been able to create a relationship with ANY of them from a one off cold approach [and I’ve done a LOT of them now]. I have however managed to find a couple of girls like this who I have ‘long gamed’ after interacting on multiple occasions [I think Mystery used to talk about ‘warm approach’ which this type of interaction would come under – its also I believe used as a term to explain meeting by introduction, so perhaps there needs to be various subsets of what constitutes ‘warm approach’. In any case what I am talking about is the strongest form of warm approach]. I theorised (although I hid it in the recess at the back of my mind as I wanted to be a pure daygamer some bizarre F-ing reason) that girls who have all the qualities I described don’t need to take the risk of meeting men through a one off cold approach as they have enough SMV buying power to meet many high quality men in better contexts which offer them a better opportunity to evaluate and judge over time (what they love doing) – they instead tend to use the following strategies: wide and high quality social circles/family friends and networks/ecosystems they occupy e.g. dance classes/workplaces where they can often find opportunities to date up socially and financially. Through daygame I tend to have success either with 1) foreign girls on extended stays for some reason in London who are looking to have ‘fun’ and don’t have many friends etc. (I never mastered the quick tourist hook up) and girls who want random hook-ups with guys but no relationship {often night club girls in early 20s going out which is bizarre as I hate nightlife & have nothing in common with them at all / or even more oddly married women}.

      Now as Im on a search to find high quality LTR material as well I have been theorising (but not putting into practise yet) expanding past just pure cold approach daygame. You mentioned a couple of strategies you intend to pursue, ‘Social circle & Drive-by-Daygame’. I would add ecosystem game to this without a doubt. High quality social circle is v hard to get into especially at a certain age (relationships cement as you get older) and esp. if you aren’t in a certain social bracket that you need to be from a lifestyle perspective. Ecosystem allows you to partially traverse this issue and potentially get into any ‘social group’ if you share similar interests, you can just go to the same club/place where you meet where you have lots of time to interact with the other person who has commonality with you. Plus you actually do something you enjoy anyway so no time is really wasted. The drive by daygame I don’t think will work well as you wont be putting enough volume into a low probability of success per set model. Also, you will just have the same issue of not finding the type of girl you are actually looking for but with an even lower chance without the numbers game. Instead, of this drive by daygame I reckon do the ‘warm repeat approach daygame’ {T.M. ZATARA although I will credit Marcus Oakey who told me the power of this ages ago, sure he wont mind me sharing it here, but in essence he said in a daygame approach you are usually trying to compress too much into one encounter (often also causing flakes) so its always better to spread out your interactions if you can over multiple events just as would happen in the ‘normal’ world}. If you like a girl in your hairdressers say, go and talk to her, flirting and teasing here and there, slowly sharing things about you both and ask her out when you feel that connection solidify.

      Unfortunately in the dating coaching industry there is an obsession with cold approach pickup (and online too) and no one is talking about these other strategies which I think and more efficient/offer more quality.

      1. Jesus christ man, please format your mega-comments better. Use paragraphs! Good comment, though.

        What you described as ‘warm repeat-approach daygame’ is exactly what I meant by ‘drive-by daygame’ albeit with a less catchy name. It is normal person’s daygame e.g. being nice to the waitress and flirting with her a little bit each time you go there.

        The PUA community pumps the cold approach model because they are selling a dream of fast pussy without ‘work’ i.e. building social value, which is what most of the aspie’s losers are unable to do.

  6. Fountain of Truth Avatar
    Fountain of Truth

    More cope from the master coper. Reems and reems of cope.

    You are Fat Ugly Old. You don’t turn women on. You are the furthest away from what they want. In rejecting you en masse they are simply reacting appropriately to your biological inferiority. What else is there to say? Funny how you have to be smart to be this deluded.

    1. Napoleon Bonaparte Avatar
      Napoleon Bonaparte


  7. Sounds sensible to me, when you told me how much you loathed doing daygame when we were in Warsaw I did wonder why on earth you were forcing yourself to do it.

    PS whoever came up with that recruitment analogy sounds like a clever fucker 😉

  8. Krauser pulls way more than six per year, you would call him R-selected?

  9. Bodi, there would be so much to talk about here… I start by saying that I agree with you that spam approaching sucks, notch counting is unhealthy, and many guys in pua are emotionally disconnected. Also, your definition of K is very deep: I was K myself for many years (although this caused me more sadness than happiness, and as I turned more R I became happier, but it would be long to explain why here) so I know what you’re talking about.
    But there are some things I don’t agree with you on the post. For instance:
    1) “a girl who takes ten dates to put out will likely do the same with any other guy”. Are you serious Bodi? This is beyond blue pill. A girl who takes ten dates to put out with EVERY man (we don’t mean the one who takes ten dates with you and one with the Alpha, do we?) is a girl who surely has some problem and unsolved sexual conflicts. She’d be probably manipulative, bad in bed and with a higher consideration of herself than reality would justify. Hence: very bad LTR material (unless for some reason your personality would match exactly with this type of girl, but this is another story). Also, the equation intelligent girl : a girl who’s not sexual and/or takes long to put out (if is this what you meant) is absolutly BS. But if you mean: YOU wanna take ten dates before going intimate with a woman and demand she submits to this your desire… in this case I may agree with you.
    2) a K selected guy doesn’t fuck with many women and for sure is married with kids. False. A K selected guy can be the high class womanizer who has mistresses and a mini harem renewed every month, pushing forward the moment of settling and making a family because it prefers enjoying life as long as he can. Or can be the good family guy who has some (hopefully protected) sex adventures when he can. Or the divorced successfull man who fucks beautiful girls. And so on.
    Finally, I wanna ask you why you didn’t keep around the nice girls you had during your game years. Having some regular to sleep with is healthy and improve your mood and your vibe.

    1. You misread the bit on point 1. I said that if she takes ten dates to put out with you then probably she takes that long with most guys, thus you know her notch count probably isn’t enormous.
      R and K is a spectrum, of course there are grey areas. Being a K select guy these days is a big risk, as marriage/women is not what they were. You need some game as well.
      As for the girls, I dated one for a long time. Others were in cities I wasn’t living in, so they were short term romances but would have been more if we lived together.

      1. Well but saying that if a girl met in the street bangs you after just one week is R, it’s an absolute exaggeration. Not to mention about those girls who dont put out as a strategy to *appear* K, when at the end of the day they have lower value than the affectionate young romantic girl who thinks “you are the one” and let you fuck her on the first date thinking it’s real love. Naive but still better than a kick in the teeth.
        That said, R girls (as long they are young and hot) may still be very good mistresses. And in period of slumps (and especially if you have already turned 40 like me) they can serve the purpose very well. Do you think Julio Caesar didnt have tons of low social class mistresses to serve his sexual needs?

        1. There’s something in this but it may be too subtle for a post, which some people are already struggling to comprehend. With most of the girls I’ve long-term dated we screwed within 24 hours of starting to date. It wasn’t due to sluttiness, just them feeling so strongly that they wanted to ‘lock me in’. Naive, but luckily for them I was giddy with sentiment, too.

  10. Eloquent as always Jon and I think there’s a lot of truth in what you say.

    However I don’t buy the binary high/low quality girl argument…as much as I’d love to. It all sounds a bit too blue pill.

    I remember having this discussion years ago with a wing, when I was still convinced that I was special and that equally special girls would surely be repulsed by the idea of fast bangs with alpha guys.

    Unfortunately it just isn’t true.

    ‘Quality’ women still play the alpha-fucks beta-bucks game. Maybe they do it less often and with more discretion, but they still do it, and enjoy doing it.

    There may well exist a few snowflakes who engage their full rational powers to eschew alpha-fucks for a nice stable k-selected man. However there are probably only three on the planet, in Russia maybe.

    Furthermore I don’t see how getting said snowflake would be any less painful than doing thousands of cold approaches. Especially considering that to play that game, you would be back to direct competition with other men. That’s not a game I can say I’ve fared well at.

    1. Hi there. Good comment.
      The main thrust of the post was about the cost to the gamer of doing R selected game, not whether girls so much fit into a binary category (which I agree, they don’t). However, I would say the cost of doing the work to date a ‘quality girl’ is far less than that required to bang street-fruit. Approaching far fewer women, with ‘a clear conscience’ is refreshing and has no emotional cost. I think most men could do a few months of this without pain then start dating a girl. Beats doing months and months of soul-less grind in Prague for the odd bang with a tourist who has daddy issues.
      I’m far from believing that special snowflake girls exist and I do believe a lot of non-broken women have had dalliances. Perhaps some of the readers are projecting their own struggles with the maddona/whore complex or early inner game issues onto their interpretation of what I say. You see this all the time in the Manosphere e.g. Roosh publishing a post entitled “Why you must marry a virgin who belives in God”.
      I know my way round women, and I meet plenty of them that are dateable. Most gamers do, except due to the nature of daygame they never get a chance with them.

      1. Hmm but you’re still insisting that there is such a thing as a ‘quality girl’ you would do the ‘work’ to date 🙂

        From everything I’ve seen and experienced, the more ‘work’ you do dating any kind of girl (pre-wall), classy or not, the more likely she is to just keep you orbiting nicely while banging the hot alpha stud(s).

        1. Ah, then we disagree. I do think there is a range of behavioural traits amongst women and I’ve met plenty who aren’t secretly banging alphas. Most daygamers meet tonnes, these are usually the ones that walk away. Perhaps you’re experiencing game ennui, or your particular game is only bringing you into contact with girls of a limited quality?
          You also slightly misconstrue the post (again). I don’t see how I said the ‘work’ is chodily dating a girl for months without sex. I explicitly said you still need game in order to not get tooled. Most of the work is filtering candidates up front, and then just working leads for a while on facebook or whatever.

          1. Can’t…be…true…nooo!

            Don’t break my world view Jon!

            All women are either alpha fuckers or have the propensity.

            I bear the mental scar of my uncle who found his wife of 20 something years banging a guy in his garage in middle of the night.

            They’re all the same!

          2. Ha. There’s a misogyny journey we gammas go on, and it’s strangely circuitous.

    2. yes but you can use ‘game’ in other contexts and not just in cold approach pickup.

      True that men maybe competing in these other contexts/environments (say an eco system like a dance class) but you forget that when you cold approach a girl on the way to that a dance class the other dude is still going be there when she arrives. daygamers make the mistake that just because you are the only one on one in the street with her that there is no competition apart from other daygamers! shes aware of the rest of the marketplace (especially when the bubble bursts and she goes home that evening) 🙂

      1. Being a gamma I have always found direct competition with other men impossible, repulsive and something I avoid at all costs.

        I like win-win cooperation. But as Jon has said before men in general will rather stab each other in the back and behave like utter cunts if there’s the remotest chance of pussy.

        The argument has always been that being able to cold approach well should distinguish you from 99% of guys a girl knows, simply by having the confidence to do it.

        That has been, and remains, my only hope for success in the hell-hole known as the sexual marketplace.

  11. Interesting post. It has my mind going down pathways that I was previously resisting.

    Regarding “drive-by-daygame” or repeat approach daygame, I have been flirting with this idea for awhile. When you put on the full charisma charm and go full out in one daygame set with a pretty girl, you are putting her under alot of pressure. Now, yes, if you are good enough, you can make the emotional impact necessary to see her again and ultimately move to sex. But that is very difficult with the higher quality girls, and by that I mean higher socio-economic girls with healthy psychologies and healthier value orientations stemming from better parenting and better moral foundations. With those girls, one off daygame is almost always ineffective.

    Multiple approach game is a good tactic for girls that you see repeatedly and with regularity; ie gym game, hired guns, common interest (ie dance classes, etc). You can easily systematize a multi-approach daygame method. In fact, older PUAs like John Sinn and Juggler taught such systems (I continuously find that 2005 -2010 had better quality PUA instruction than now where everything has been dumbed down). But its not effective for the random beauties you see doing daygame; ie those fast walking, long legged “greyhounds”. With most of those women, you will never see them again. Which means if you are looking for the hb8+ for quality LTRs, then you won’t be able to rely solely on cold approach pickup.

    Over at SedFast, they have two posters that are the most mature PU types I’ve seen. One is a 46 year old called ThinMan and the other is a 38 year old called PureEvil. Both of them have been sharing good ideas on more mature game tactics that go beyond high volume street approach. ThinMan has numerous posts on using business associations, art galleries, book signings, and other common interest sites to run a mature version of daygame. He starts slow and usually builds to an instant date then setting up day2s. Its still game, but the way he does it is the most mature version I’ve seen. For men in their 40s running game, I would say that he is a man to model.

    And lastly PureEvil has laid out a type of dating template which does not require you to go all out trying to get the lay that night. He has a 3 date template which uses false time constraints and sexual framing to get the girl way past ASD and LMR before you get her to the sex location after the third date. He describes it as “getting that particular girl” not just any hb7.5+. Its clever. Its similar to BlackDraggon’s 2 date template which is itself very good at reducing ASD and improving the chances at retention. PureEvil’s thoughts are well worth reading.

    Anyway, things for you to consider as you go down your journey of moving from mass cold approacher to the more mature gentleman seducer (of more quality women). Its still game, but a more mature version. Which is fitting for an intelligent man in his 40s who has gone through the self discovery rollercoaster you have.

    Best of luck.

    1. Thanks for the detailed comment, appreciated. I will check this stuff out.

    2. hey cheers, Id like to read those posts, are you able to give a link as I have no idea what sedfast is? [google brought up a range of stuff] Ta

  12. beautifully written. DG can be applied to pursuing bad girls or good girls. in fact, there is nothing better for meeting that cute, classy, shy girl in the bookstore, just like in the movies.

    1. Rivelino you say there is nothing better than DG for meeting a cute, classy, shy girl in a bookstore …in your experience have you actually met all types of girls through a one time approach in daygame? Specifically do they match the following characteristics I listed below? There seems to be confusion around the word ‘quality’ girl where some of you guys talk about social class or good/bad … Imo these aren’t good ways to measure quality in a girl.

      This is how I measure …

      1) toward the top end of looks in girls (so Id say an 7.5/8+ girl)
      2) fairly successful or at least comfortable in her sphere of life (job, business, study)
      3) has a good circle of friends and family
      4) has hobbies & a enjoys her free time
      5) emotionally stable and well balanced
      6) is fairly picky about her sexual partners (i.e. not a slut).

      Usually in daygame even if the girl is hot (I pretty much only open 7+ girls) I’ve found the ones most conducive to this process are ones who don’t have some or many of these characteristics. If you don’t want a relationship with them most aren’t going to be relevant.

  13. Essentially no great man in history spent the vast majority of his time chasing ass after a certain point.

    Time is your most precious resource. Irreplaceable. Each second of your life becomes more valuable the older you get.

    I have fully accepted that I will never bang as many girls or as many hot girls as a top or even mid level daygamer. I’m totally ok with that.

    But let any regular girl choose between life with me and life with them and I’d bet more would pick me.

    That being said, I respect the skill, willpower, and dedication that the top daygamers have. Just not going to be me.

  14. 3 approaches in 1 session? So how long is your ‘session’ and how many k-type girls do you see? And do you ‘actually’ approach all these k-type girls or sometimes dismiss it as ‘difficult’ (“Oh she is too far on the other side of the road”, etc)? I think maybe age something to do with all this. Do you think as you get older you want better “quality”? But dismissing it as needing 10 dates etc to fuck these k-types is wrong. I am sure you can do the biz in less then 3 dates.
    I age has something to

  15. I don’t think K-selected necessarily means monogamy (which i sense this post implies), though it’s much slower and you can’t date too many girls at a time. It’s kinda funny how laws of SMP always have a cost-benefit scenario going on. R is fast but less available. K is slow and risky but more available. Kinda like rock-paper-scissor.

    My personal opinion is that instead of focusing on magic numbers, we focus on magic rates – the number of opens each day you can do, without crashing your vibe. It won’t be a weekend farm, it won’t be an approachathon – it will be daily and consistent. Like going to the gym or brushing your teeth.

    There will be three major objectives :-
    1. Prevent vibe crashes at all cost.
    2. Open less and consistent.
    3. Weave a reality in which you only spend happy times with women. This includes sex, intimacy, and female affection.

    The only drawback is that you miss daygame cocaine.

    In all, a great article to re-read and ponder about – The writing is enviable.

  16. Romeo_is_real (@Romeo_is_real) Avatar
    Romeo_is_real (@Romeo_is_real)

    Fantastic reference article. I like the sales analogy because like it or not we are all selling but it is best to sell on your terms and in the environment that suits you. With Sales the dirty secret is BUYERS REGRET. Two of the last bangs I had were from Women who I met through my business. I still employed game principles but the TRUST was there so no buyers regret. Would you rather but from a cold caller or in a store?

  17. Ok but no K Pride Parades ok Bodi?

    I have long maintained that most guys in who enter pickup just want a girlfriend and that they sort of get hijacked by the ‘R’ approach to things. It’s yet another example of ceding what feels right to you to fit in and comply with what’s is ostensibly the accepted norm in a community which we all know from numerous other examples (diet is my latest rant on this – eating what society and industry puts in front of you rather than what you’ve been genetically adapted for over the millennia – best health fitness advice I’ve ever heard is ‘you will never out-train a bad diet) leads to something on the unhappiness/disaster spectrum.

  18. “salesman they’ll be headhunters. A K-strategist daygamer, if he follows the current popular daygame model, known as the LDM (London Daygame Model) has to shoe-horn himself into the clothes of a K-strategist*”

    Typo? Think you meant “clothes of a R strategist” here…?
    [ED: yeah, well spotted, thanks]

  19. So Bodi how would you suggest playing K selected game to find a girlfriend then? You suggested keeping some game principles like holding your frame but is there any ‘model’ which can be used as a framework? You said a system like this wouldnt sell as no system is needed but Im worried that I’ll go back to a time where I’d just have friendly conversations with girls who friend zoned me (just chatting) and all I know how to do now after learning daygame is how to tease/challenge/qualify etc! So lost as to how to go about finding a girlfriend which is what I’d actually like to do. If you are going to cover in future posts perhaps you could give me a few pointers as feeling lost at the moment.

    [ED: if you’ve waited this long a few more weeks ain’t gonna hurt…]

  20. Fuck me, where is this going to end up? Jimmy and Bodi owning a hostel and taking groups of girls on treks everyday?

    [ED: that would be what you’ve wanted all along!]

  21. The Free Trade's Cat Avatar
    The Free Trade’s Cat

    John, I would say without a doubt that this is your best post to date. There’s a maturity and wisdom that’s missing from most other game blogs.

    Am I right in thinking that there’s been a creeping realisation that the answer lies in getting good at being normal, rather than the typical PUA, who aims to excel at being weird?

    PUAs rarely mention social circle game, but from an outsiders point of view it seems like game in its purest form. A group of men, a group of women – no bullshit about number ratings – everyone knows who the most desirable women are. Then you compete in a fairly honest manner – your social circle will know if you lie or fake and you can’t claim to have banged a hot virgin when the rest of the room know she’s a slut.

    In this context you can use all the knowledge and lessons you’ve picked up from day game, whilst enjoying time with normal men and women. It’s how the vast majority of Western Men met their current girlfriend or wife.

    Every time you see an attractive women walking down the street with a man ask yourself – did this man do 1000s of approaches and just happen to find her amongst all the chaff? Or did he meet her in a regular social setting, get to know her, then start dating.

    1. Sigh…the whole reason cold approach game was invented is because social circle doesn’t work for the vast majority of men – definitely not gammas.

      It works if you’re evidently top dog in a large network – i.e. meaning you can get ‘some’ of the girls you want ‘some’ of the time.

      See previous post about male competition…

      “did this man do 1000s of approaches and just happen to find her amongst all the chaff? ”

      No odds are she was one of the very few (or only) girls who would give him the time of day in his limited work/social circle and he desperately jumped at the opportunity.

      Cue guy being subject to ongoing manipulation by girl who knows that he has absolutely no other options.

      1. The Free Trade's Cat Avatar
        The Free Trade’s Cat

        “It works if you’re evidently top dog in a large network – i.e. meaning you can get ‘some’ of the girls you want ‘some’ of the time.”

        But what John is saying is that daygame works so little of the time. And probably only with the girls who the top dog men in her social group didn’t want.

        1. It was the only thing that worked for me, and I tried everything.

          I despise social circle game. It’s always alphas who get the pick of attractive women. Betas get the leftovers and gammas get nothing.

          Given the way you talk about social circles I get the feeling you’ve done fairly well there. That suggests you don’t have much in common with the average daygamer, hence your derision of it and aforementioned game avenues.

    2. Gamers don’t talk about social circle game because of how random it is. You cannot wake up one day and say ‘I’m goning to make a social circle with hot women in it’. Also, if you fuck up in social circle game the repercussions are dire. With day game when in a proper city for doing it you can fuck up massively and there is no real problem.

      Day game gave promise to the ‘machine with a hand crank’ as Bodi puts it. A repeatable system to generate pussy leads. Social circle is a much different beast.

      1. The Free Trade's Cat Avatar
        The Free Trade’s Cat

        It’s anything but random. I once worked in an office of a FTSE 100 company, with 1000 employees on site with an average age of 32. You don’t have to make a social circle – it’s there and has lots of well educated women under 30 in it.

        The reason you can get away more with fucking up in daygame is precisely because you have no link to the girl.

      2. On the other hand there is a bit of a false division between daygame (cold approach) and warm approach/social circle or whatever else you want to call it.

        The qualities that a bloke needs to work on in either are the same. If you are a chubby or skinny miserable cunt with no real friends that a girl would want to hang out (just a few more weird miserable males) with then you are going to be crap at either approach.

    3. This is exactly the reason high quality women don’t respond well to daygame. They want the chance to be able to judge a man over time amongst their peers. Daygame tries to cheat the system by going outside of this normal process. All that happens is that 99.9% of high quality attractive women just refuse to play the game in this way. The only way through daygame to get a high quality women is if your smv is so high that the girl will throw her usual selection method out of the window for you as you are so good looking, rich, powerful and charismatic (you are a male 10 or 11). However how many men like this do daygame?

      1. The Free Trade's Cat Avatar
        The Free Trade’s Cat

        Exactly Bobby. One of the main points of daygame is that it allows men to avoid competition with other men. Other men are looking for women in pubs and clubs? Go and look for women in the street. Other men are trying to date women in their own community? Fly to Eastern Europe. Not special in your own circle of friends? Go somewhere where you appear exotic.

        Nothing particularly wrong with it. But as you say, most women would ideally like to see other women’s reaction to a man (and men’s reactions) then make their call. For all the talk about Alpha males – day game is usually the plan b.

        Still, I think John’s post is hinting that if you’re having problems attracting women the answer probably isn’t to immerse yourself in the weirdness of daygame. There’s plenty of enjoyable ways to improve yourself and attract normal, decent women.

      2. “This is exactly the reason high quality women don’t respond well to daygame. ”

        Very big claim – how did you arrive at that conclusion?

        I spent years attending social events, dance classes and the like. Know how many dates I got from that? Absolutely nothing – and I’m not an ogre by any means. The workplace was even worse and more limiting.

        On the other hand I did actually go on dates with a number of decent women via daygame. Whether they’d meet these lofty standards of ‘quality’ I can’t say.

        However improbable the chance, daygame gave me one where I had zero before. That’s not to say it isn’t insanely difficult and tedious, but something is better than nothing.

        1. I arrived at the conclusion through doing doing daygame myself for some time (being around 7 in smv perhaps a touch higher) and by observing the results of other guys in the community. I’ve opened hundreds of sets now, the quality girls (attractive ones with a nice personality) seem to drop off at some point even if they express initial interest. You are left with women who are one or many of the following: mediocre looking, broken, slutty. Usually a combination of these. It’s the girls who can’t get what they want in the ‘normal’ world who will respond to a cold approach on the street.

          Daygame is attractive to guys as it presents itself as giving you a chance to get any girl in the street. This is just a mirage as 99.9% of the high quality attractive women just opt out of meeting a guy like this (even if they give you a no and come out on a date they will usually disappear as they consider their options). I note that you said daygame allowed you to date girls and not that you actually had any relationships with them (perhaps I’ve misinterpreted you?).

          The real proof is to ask yourself if you have ever seen a daygamer with a hot high quality girl. I’m talking about 8/9/10s. The pictures of even top game guys are usually with ok looking ones who we can assume are the hottest girls these guys get as they want to impress everyone!

          I wish it were otherwise esp as j have invested so much time energy and money into daygame. I’ve learnt some skills but this method is a lousy way to meet the sort of girls I actually want. I do agree other methods like social circle aren’t easy either. Essentially it’s a very tough world out there, not just for girls but for everything as its so competitive with everyone chasing limited things.

          1. Good to hear you walked the walk before coming to a conclusion.

            I’d say I was about the same actually, 7 or a bit higher smv and did about 600 sets in all. That was before burning out and walking away to focus on finances.

            And yes I did have a relationship with a girl from daygame, albeit brief. She was attractive (7.5 maybe), slim, degree qualified, good group of friends, pleasant.

            ” You are left with women who are one or many of the following: mediocre looking, broken, slutty. Usually a combination of these. It’s the girls who can’t get what they want in the ‘normal’ world who will respond to a cold approach on the street. ”

            I don’t really agree. R-girls are always going to be more receptive to cold approach, and they’ll tend to be more fucked up. That doesn’t mean decent attractive girls don’t respond.

            I don’t buy the idea that ‘quality’ girls only choose men they can vet over a long period of time from their social circle. That is just delusional. Social circle can be similarly limiting for women. Just look at the huge number of women hooking up online. That’s basically cold approach.

  22. Bodi, before I got into game I got into relationships here or there through work/social circle, with the girl giving me signals that she liked me (either telling mutual friends/or trying to run into me / loitering nearby) and me subsequently bumbling through the process by asking them out on a date. Now this only happened from time to time and as my social circles and my work changed these opportunities dissipated (loneliness lead to me getting into game). I read a post by ‘Assanova’ which said girls often need time to decide if they like you. If this is true then social circle/ecosystem/warm approaching is the way to use this phenomenon to your advantage. I don’t know if this theory is true, but looking back those girls showed only very mild interest to begin with, but over subsequent meetings I got the feeling the interest grew through their body language, so there may well be something to it. If this is the case it explains a lot of the problem with male female dating, we are attracted straight away to a hot girl, whereas a girl takes time to warm up (this def. true in the bedroom so perhaps there is a biological pattern at work). I linked the article below:


  23. I think it’s worth separating two different ways of getting to the same outcome of a hot balanced K-select girl not fucking you from daygame:

    1. “Those girls can’t be got from daygame”
    2. “Those girls are intrigued, give a number, come on a date but at some point during the date they find out about the real me – which I could hide behind technique in the five minute stop – and suss me out as way less dateable than they hoped.”

    I suspect most guys saying (1) need an ego-salve for the reality of (2).

    As for me, I have no problem getting K-selects from daygame if I’m prepared to take the dating process slowly. It’s not easy, and can’t do them in high quantities, but always several each year mixed in with all the other girls.

    1. By taking it slowly do you mean not going for the bang on the first date? That’s been the mantra of cold approach since I can remember.

    2. Ok, but why exactly are the K selects being picked up in smaller quantities then? Is it the LDM, or perhaps the actual daygame cold approach itself more generally filtering for R selects? If so, which parts of it can be adapted to make it better at picking up the K selected girls assuming that’s what some guys want.

      1. A young hot girl isn’t going to be in a hurry to land a guy (she has options).

  24. One of the best blog post I’ve read. Not daygamed in a while but your post resonates with me. if i did 5 sets in a session i would give myself a pat on the back, it takes so much out of me. Took me two years and around 1k sets to find my current gf of one year (solid 8.5 not quite 9, oxford graduate). However, I am starting to feel the urge to hit the streets again. Will buy you book tomorrow. Peace.

  25. Bodi, I think you fail to realise that there are a subset of well poise normal men who do get into daygame due to being very ambitious and do well for themselves (maybe 1-2%). These men can act “normal” when it comes to dating the so called “K selects” and generally do date them (should they choose to).

    I also think it depends on what type of man you believe you are hence what standard you have set for yourself.

    There was a study out there that stated the more attractive a woman is the less casual sex she will typically have. I lost a stunning girl a full two points better looking than me and totally into me because I foolishly tried to kiss her on the same day I met her! My lesson albeit harsh had been learned.

    Daygame works.

    1. I think you need to work on your reading comprehension.

  26. Hi bodi,

    I’ve read both of your books and your blog. In some way I was expecting this outcome, but it’s been a time since you don’t post anything.

    How would you reframe “game” for k-selected guys? Are there any PUAs out there that support this option?

    Keep well. And kudos. Greetings from Spain.

  27. This post sounds like a long winded justification for why you are not getting what you want.

    1. Switch ‘justification’ for ‘explanation’ and I’d agree.

  28. Hi My Name’s Gavin and I’d like to introduce myself to K’s anonymous.

    In my recruiting days, I hated working on low value, low info, “low hanging fruit” reqs. That’s what job boards are for. It carries over into everything, I’d rather meticulously define something an SOW for a day before even beginning on it.

    With women, I have an aversion to girls who make NSA sex available within a few hours. I’m wary of whats on the other side of that trade.

    Due to some upbringing blindspots, I thought it was game or some shit that I needed. When in reality I had to optimize my choices to my mentality and preferences. Us young guns don’t realize their are many ways to skin a cat when we first enter the professional and dating word.

    Many times I envision that Abe Lincoln quote “If I had 6 hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first 6 sharpening my axe” K whereas R “If I had 6 hours to chop down a tree, I would have started 7 hours ago” R

    Paradoxically, momentum which is R’s preference, works better for K because they’re clearer on their vision. Once they ID it, of course.

    I meet 1-3 girls a year who I consider potential LTRs. Everything else is just noise.

    In business, I go long and filter out low time/energy investment goombas.
    Life is better that way.

  29. K selection is about the prospect of investment from the man. A girl who sleeps with a man where there is no possibility of a long term relationship is not heavily K selected. An american girl who sleeps with a guy within 2hrs and an eastern european who waits 4 dates may therefore be equally r-selected. The latter just has more cultural pressure to overcome and better girl-game. The additional time acts as important hamster-food for her to overcome cultural pressure and convince herself she isn’t a slut.

    You’re also correct that K-selected men banging r-selected sluts takes a piece of their soul. It would just result in lots of offspring over which you have no control and no investment. Even worse, the women were r-selected sluts prone to terrible decision making and they now have more control over your offspring than you do.

    Sleeping with lots of women without taking total ownership of them is psychologically damaging for K-selected men. Most daygamers seem to have subsaharan african breeding strategies and personalities to suit. Their only goal is insemination.

    The value of daygame for K-selected men is volume – finding high self-esteem/low sexdrive K girls is increasingly rare (5-10% maybe in the west?).

  30. You are not a K-strategist. You have a low self acceptance. That is why you cannot spam like those other “R-guys”. For others, the women are just sex, affection and some fun, no biggie I will find another one; for you it is a source of validation, comfort, etc, some form of co-dependence etc.

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